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Swan Red


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Vic died by suicide today. He did it on his terms, including the request that someone should let the forum know. 

I guess that makes this thread his unofficial, online book of condolence and while I don't currently have the words to properly pay tribute to him, I will say this - he was a brilliant man, one of the smartest people I have ever met (or wasted hours with, online) and I will miss him enormously.

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Vic, you knew how much you meant to me, and I think you were embarrassed by how much I looked up to you, but you were a f***ing hero to me.

You taught me loads about politics and philosophy. I said to someone earlier, “I’ll have no more interesting chat now, I’ve been living off Vic’s scraps.”

I always tell people about you: my mate who looks like he’d f***ing eat you, but is actually the kindest soul I know.

You gave ten per cent of your earnings away to charity for f***’s sake. You didn’t just talk about making the world a better place, you tried to do something about it.

There were a million conversations I still wanted to have with you; Orgreave and Militant and determinism and that green-eyes dragon riddle and so many more.

Thanks for everything man. You helped me through some really hard times and I wish I could have done the same for you.

But really I’m just delighted to have known you. I’m going to miss you so much.

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I can't find the words to express how sad I am at this news. I heard this afternoon and have been trying to gather my thoughts, Stu and Kamf have both expressed themselves with such eloquence, all I can do is nod in agreement to every word and hope he is now at peace after what has clearly been a terrible time in recent years. I've been  here before, to do this truly is the last resort of a person in pain. rest in peace my old mate, I've truly never met anybody like you before.

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Dunno what to say really

one of the very first guys I met off the forum (koptalk) back in the late 90s. Turns out we went to Uni at the same time and our paths had crossed at different moments

we clashed from time to time but it was never that big a deal

he was kind, ferocious, voracious, intelligent, interesting and many many more things a human should be

gutted for him to have got so low as to think this was the way out

RIP you magnificent f***er

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Time spent with Vic was invariably absolutely joyous, which makes this news so much harder to take.
 

A storyteller with many tales to tell, a heart of pure gold and a fücking beautiful mind. A true friend whose words echo in my head over and over.

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One of the most articulate, intelligent, wise, generous and kind people I have ever met. You took whatever Vic said seriously because of the obvious passion and sincerity of his beliefs and principles, but mainly because you realised that he had forgotten more about whatever it was you were talking about than you would ever know. I believe that if he had even the smallest notion of the respect and in many cases straightfoward love and affection, that many people from this place and elsewhere had for him, he wouldn't have done what he did. 

This is just the most cripplingly sad news and I'm having a lot of difficulty processing it, as I'm sure a lot of you are.

RIP mate.

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This floored me when I heard and I've spent the last few hours trying to get my head around it.  Vic was such an interesting, intelligent, thought provoking and just bloody good man.  This thread is testament to how much he had made a mark on people's lives.  He's going to be really missed.  RIP Vic.

 

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6 minutes ago, Des said:

You took whatever Vic said seriously because of the obvious passion and sincerity of his beliefs and principles, but mainly because you realised that he had forgotten more about whatever it was you were talking about than you would ever know. 

This is so true.

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This is just f***ing awful news 

spent the last couple of hours looking back at all the messages we sent to each other on the forum. People have articulated what an absolute diamond Vic is, was and always will be. 
 

Sleep well my friend 

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I got the call a few hours ago from Ant and I’ve been in a daze since then

everything said about him so far, reflects what I also thought about him

we didn’t get on that well on here but we did in real life and had quite a few interesting meet-ups of various descriptions, including Istanbul  

leaving aside real life, it’s not often you can say you trust somebody in an online relationship that you often clash with but his sense of honour and decency was evident - he suspended me twice but it didn’t matter. He always acted in good faith and we were friends regardless

there is one thing though, and I wonder if anyone else who was keeping in more regular contact with him recently can comment:

I had a bad feeling, starting around mid 2020 - and every time he popped in to my thoughts, and prompted by what he was revealing about his personal situation, a part of me feared the worst might happen; at the very least, I feared he was in quite a dark place….and now of course I’m wishing I’d at least tried to act on that instinct

my thoughts are with everyone close to him. I once collected him from his mum’s in Old Swan about 12 years ago. There’s no proper way to say this but in one sense I hope she’s already waiting for him rather than going through the agony of losing him in this way

RIP VIC

YNWA

 

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I'm in bits reading this. First sentence of SL's post absolutely floored me

We never met but before COVID hit he was talking about coming over to Wales for Green Man Festival and staying with us for a couple of days afterwards. I was very much looking forward to meeting him and getting stuck into a bottle of something decent whilst putting the world to rights.

Rest well Vic - raising a glass to you.

f***.

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I've not been on here in quite a few years but it's heartening to see familiar names reminisce about our friend Vic. I'm not as articulate as Cobs or Des but I echo their sentiments.

The first time I remember meeting Vic he made a bee line for me because he was amused by my forum name. Truth be told he scared me s***less that first night but I soon saw that behind that gruff exterior he too was a big softy.

Had many fun trips to games home and abroad with him, beer fuelled conversations, late night calls, chats on here but I hadn't been in touch with him much  in the last year and I regret that.

I hope he has found peace but I also hope he knows how much he was loved.

RIP mate.

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Not sure where to start really. Other than I would echo what John and Des have said above about Vic being an incredibly intelligent person but also a kind, generous and compassionate man. A friend who you always enjoyed spending time with and I just always got excited whenever I heard he might be in town or there was a chance of a meet up. A friend who always made you feel smarter by some kind of osmosis and who also had a knack of giving you a grin and a wink every now and then that made you feel he'd let you in on some kind of private joke that was just for the two of you.

A few of us went to his wedding in Ireland in 2016, just five years ago, but feels like another lifetime now. I feel sad I haven't seen him since then and hate the thoughts of what he must have been through for this to be the end result. He deserved better than this. I'm so sorry Vic. RIP you magnificent man, you'll be missed by so many, you improved the lives of everyone who knew you and it's been an honour to call you my friend.

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Thanks everyone for your heartfelt and heartwarming words about someone so special I'm not sure I can find the words to do him justice right now. I will share these with the people closest to him and hope it will give them - in particular his mum - some comfort knowing how respected and loved he was.

There are people who kept him company on the darkest parts of his journey and gave him all the love they had, but sadly that wasn't enough so don't feel bad if you had lost touch with him more recently or didn't tell him how much you cared about him and are now left wondering what if. No one could have changed this. God knows some of us tried. Can only hope he has found the peace he so needed and craved and be grateful we were privileged enough to know him for a while.

Edited by Ayline
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