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About Murphman

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    If you want to take the piss that's fine

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    United Kingdom

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  1. Went out with the mutt this morning around 7.30am, over the fields, slightly overcast but still a tad humid, shorts, tee shirt, trainees, sound. A speck of rain was followed within 30 seconds by something from a film about Moses or summat, it was impossible to get wetter in such a short space of time, diving into the river would have been drier. The dog turned around a looked at me, I know they can't speak but he just said C*NT with his eyes. We went back, the rain was actually hurting and I got cold too, walked in to tumultuous piss taking from my lazy a*** dry as a bone family, this weather really is extraordinary innit?
  2. She's in the little black book with Van Tam.
  3. An old person would reference Duane Eddy or Hank Marvin, it's of their era, I'm surprised you're surprised. During a training session a few years back, we had a kid was so super fit it was ridiculous, he was 18 years old, on the 'beep test' the consummate stamina assessment he routinely wiped everybody out. Then an African lad called Babz signed, he too was a real athlete and he at first a deemed a threat to young Gary, but within a couple of minutes just like the rest was promptly wiped out too. Wow' I though Babz might beat Gary, he's awesome'?' 'Not being funny' says me, 'Kip Keino wouldn't beat Gary' Kip Keino = Duane Eddy, all the kids looked at me as if I was a Welsh neighbour...
  4. I'm relaxed, fair enough....
  5. More a*******s than your average cross section in golf clubs by the very nature of the beast, but some clubs are far worse than others and calling most golfers a 'terrible person' is so wrong.
  6. Murphman


    I've got a bridge at the moment.
  7. Murphman


    I've been scared of the barstards all my life, almost certainly a hang over from school dentists in the 60's. I have never had a tooth removed in a conscious state in my life. Gas and air (horror stories) then 'sedation', saved my life. Today I had front teeth removed, hugely expensive but what a difference the odd decade makes. Post op, lager after sedation whilst the complete antithesis of given advice is working just swell. My family think I'm pissed and a f*cking nuisance, but what do THEY know huh?
  8. Murphman


    A lot on here don't like fishing. The killjoy tosspots. I fished for years, tiddlers when I was a kid, then I hooked a Tench, a proper fish and that was it. Until I caught a Barbel and I fished for nothing else afterwards, hooking a Barbel is like nothing else, they give little indication of a bite as they suss out the bait with their barbs, then once accepted that's it, the first thing you see is the rod almost ripped out of it's rest, they then go absolutely mental, what a fighter! I don't go any more, I need exercise not a stiffening back, but fishing is fab, it doesn't really matter what you catch I guess, it's the solitude and being one with nature.
  9. Murphman


    Hey Hass, that's tragic, so sorry for your family's loss.
  10. It's an old 'un, like me, I forget things sometimes...
  11. Why do almost all cats have beards? Because 99% of owners said their cats prefer whiskas.
  12. Murphman


    That brings back memories, my FIL (RIP) would do that, and he was deaf so the beeping seat belt indicator didn't bother him, head done in is right.
  13. He owns a house in Highcliffe, Brighton is over 2 hours away.
  14. Clemence Trent Hansen Virgil Robbo Gerrard Souness Kennedy Dalglish Suarez Torres
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