Leo No.8

Can't stand the way RVN behaves when he's on the pitch, but apparently is a very nice guy off the pitch, very down to earth. This goes some way to backing that up. Our strikers have the wrong shin pads thats all - too many angles on them...

I'd favour two destroyers in the centre personally. Out of interest - would people not question Alonso's effectiveness at times as this season has gone on? He started off fantastic, but I think at times he has struggled to have a real impact, despite his ever superb passing.

Likewise after the 2001 final we had good experiences with the Arsenal fans. In all honesty little Mikey snatched that cup for us from the worthy winners, they battered us that day - it must have been a horrible way to lose, but their fans took it really well. I'd probably say out of every set of English fans I've found them to be the most likeable.

Kev used to be a striker in school - scored absolutely loads of goals, and I still think he has that goalscoring instinct. You saw the way he took his goal against Arsenal, and his overhead earlier this season was pure class. He has spent time playing off the lone man up front for Bolton, and would probably actually get more goals than any of our current strikers in that role.

Absolutely s**** - I hope he stays in their first team as long as possible; the longer Arsenal play him the more often we get to see a particularly unpleasant man make a fool of himself...

He's been embarrassing himself all season with his ridiculous, biased ramblings. Funny how much he's starting to sound like Ged did when things started to go irreversibly wrong here - pointing out small things which had gone against us and ignoring the fact we weren't performing well enough to win games. Must be a French thing...

You are David Bellamy and I claim my £5...

Steady on there Kev - if someone is crap, you've got to say he's crap. I'd say if they do perform well, give them the credit they deserve. That much I can do, but the whole 'get behind the lads' regardless bit on an internet forum seems a bit daft to me. Places like this are here for open discussion - match day is the time for unconditional support...

He is a sound lad - one of the most down to earth footballers you'll meet. Kev is a massive red as well - he was on the same coach as my cousin when they went to Istabul and he'd be ecstatic to come to us. When we were linked with him in the summer I asked him if it was true and he said all he knew about it was what was in the papers, so I don't think we ever actually made an official approach.

so BIG Stuff and BIG Wayne don't want him? Hmm, I'm sensing a pattern here...

It's not embarrassing we're going on about Robben - players who get other players sent off are f*cking despicable. I'm not even being biased in saying it - I find it hugely embarrassing and equally annoying when our players do it, Sissoko and Kromkamp in particular this season. They want to start acting like men, not crying little girls.

Defoe and Wright-Phillips would have fit right into last seasons reserve team, the smallest team in history. Every time I went to the game I was waiting for them to break out into a spontanious rendition of 'follow the yellow brick road'...

I do like Yakubu Fred - he's a real handful and has scored consistantly for the last few seasons over here. Suppose Boro could actually go down as well, in which case we could pick him up cheap as well, so definitely one I should have included.

We really need one goalscorer and one who can run with the ball at speed, stretch defences. A la the Rooney / RVN combination at United. My recommendations would be: Goalscorer: Owen, Kuyt, Toni, Berbatov Pacey Runner: Bojinov, Tevez, Baptista, Saviola From the goalscorers, Owen is obvious, Kuyt isn't all that pretty as a footballer (or as a human being come to mention it) but is hugely effective and would be well suited to English football. Toni is probably unrealistic because they'd want a massive fee and he's pushing 30 but again he'd be ideal for English football, as would Berbatov who admittedly misses chances, but gets into a lot of goalscoring positions and has a great touch for a man his size. Of the runners I really like Bojinov - he reminds me of Rooney a bit, as does Tevez. Both are stocky, powerful but really quick as well. Tevez needs a move to Europe, and he'd be very welcome if the fee was right and he didn't put that f*cking dummy in his mouth. Baptista has been a flop at Real but things can go wrong for good players there; I still think his pace and power would be ideal for England. Saviola isn't as strong as the others and I feel would be more of a risk, but he is immensely talented.

I really wanted to sign Morientes having followed him at Real. Turns out I was completely wrong, and anyone who can't see he hasn't adapted to England and probably never will is deluding themselves. He's nowhere near as strong as I thought he'd be, and even slower.

I rate him very highly Stuff...

A Ghanaian take on Sunday 'The majestic Liverpool Lions were unjustly defeated by their inferior opponents Chelsea, as the officials failed to disallow both Chelsea goals on the grounds of them being unworthy of being urinated on by an antelope.'

That would have of course been far more agreeable...

Great player - appalling attitude. He's only about 23 and already been with Ajax, Marseilles, Roma, Spurs. The Egyptian Anelka...

Just a magnificent finish. It was past him almost before he could move, and right in the corner. What more could you want?

I beleive we enquired about him as recently as a couple of months ago, but were told by Bayern he's not for sale. The player was apparently interested.

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Like I've said before - I'd liken him to Overmars myself. I knew he was quick, but faster than Cisse... If there's one thing you can say about Djibs, he's lightning fast. Being quicker than him, with Gonzalez's ability on the ball as well, he'll be frightening...