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The Gudjohnson miss


Ant

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The final, Milan v Chelsea, would have been a torrid affair. The referee, being bribed by both sides, would have awarded nine penalties and sent off four players from each side. With the game sliding nerviously towards a climax, Italian and Russian mafiosi started to load weapons in the stands, presaging a terrible massacre. The game was abandoned with thousands running for cover across the arid landscape surrounding the Ataturk. Dozens of Italians and West Londoners would still be missing, eking out a living among the scrub, and occasionally straying onto the highway to be mown down by Turkish taxi drivers.

 

The governments of Italy and Russia would have been brought to the edge of war. Assassinations in Rome and Moscow would have ratcheted up the tension, and George W Bush would have stepped in, saying 'This is madness, surely we can solve this dispute calmly!?' But Berlusconi sent his troops into Slovenia, starting a long march eastwards through the winter. Putin, laughing manically, called him the new Napoleon, and as the first snows fell on Petrograd, darkness descended across the continent of Europe, and the shadow of death enveloped a generation, yet again.

 

On the bright side, Warrington won the RL championship five years in a row as Leeds was wiped out in an 'accidental' early strike.

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