Hassony

Torres, Virgil, Alisson, Ekitike all came after being linked to Chelsea

Chelsea aren’t in Europe Too many players Khan has turned the capital into Londostan You get your phone stolen twice a day And we're f***ing Liverpool Football Club

Let's get Caicedo

They have exposed themselves as terrible comedians

Keown is a clown

Which is why Minteh doesn't make sense because if he's out for 8 weeks our title challenge might already be over by then

Think we'll get at least one signing from Madrid

Great, two working days to find that player, register our interest, monitor him, tell the club that we're preparing a bid, prepare a bid, submit the bid, get the rejected bid back, resubmit the bid, agree terms with the players, get told the club won't sell until they find a replacement, press release that we always planned for Rio to be our first choice RW...

Think they're taking the 'Salah is irreplaceable' a bit too literally

Great news, hopefully we'll pay all his add ons any news on Camara/ a right back?

damn, regret calling my daughter Martin-Skrtel now

Negotiations have been going for nearly 8 years tbf

I love your optimism

Bezos won't be happy, he won't allow Hughes to have any toilet breaks until he delivers few players

Fine, let's move to our 2658th target, we usually do well with these