Getting the edge

[Kvarme Ate My Food]

As we know, Arsene Wenger was the first person to realise that footballers will play better if they are in good physical shape, and the first to notice that beer and chips make you fat.

 

Now that all clubs know this, what are the next steps that we can take, to get ahead? Things that may seem unsual now, but will give us that all-important edge?

 

I suggest we ban footballers from having kids while under contract to us. Think of Alonso missing a game to see his child born, or Joe Cole losing form (which has never returned) and blaming his kid's crying. Now we're hearing that Joe Allen's struggling to sleep because of a newborn.

 

They should wait until they retire to have kids. While they play for us, it's not their sleep, it's Liverpool's sleep.

[surf]

joe cole hasn't learnt lesson 1 yet

[richwilks]

Having a kids tire you out. We should stop signing players who have children and vasectomies to the ones who haven't.

[Hassony]

Enrique is a crap father obviously as he seems to be in the best form of his liverpool career after the birth of his first child )))))))))))))))))))))))

[richwilks]

Enrique is a crap father obviously as he seems to be in the best form of his liverpool career after the birth of his first child )))))))))))))))))))))))

 

He's always playing Fifa and taking pictures of himself with no shirt on. No time for looking after a child.

[honourablegeorge]

If you have only one player in your squad with a consistent record of delivering goals, you'll struggle to score.

[johngibo YPC]

If you have only one player in your squad with a consistent record of delivering goals, you'll struggle to score.

 

I don't think you are really getting into the spirit here

 

 

I suggest we ban footballers from having kids while under contract to us. Think of Alonso missing a game to see his child born, or Joe Cole losing form (which has never returned) and blaming his kid's crying. Now we're hearing that Joe Allen's struggling to sleep because of a newborn.

 

They should wait until they retire to have kids. While they play for us, it's not their sleep, it's Liverpool's sleep.

 

Maybe we could have a team of gays?

[Kvarme Ate My Food]

Maybe we could have a team of gays?

 

Not sure, think they tend to stay out quite late.

[johngibo YPC]

Not sure, think they tend to stay out quite late.

 

True. This is a minefield

[Conrad]

all the players should have shaved heads for aerodynamic purposes and to frighten the opposition

[Kvarme Ate My Food]

all the players should have shaved heads for aerodynamic purposes and to frighten the opposition

 

Think it would be useful if players looked similar to each other, would confuse markers.

[cymrococh]

We've apparently brought in some psychologist bloke, but Rodgers said it was optional for the players to go.

 

It should be compulsory for all players to be in therapy.

[Cobs]

start a breeding programme - like they do with horses

 

Impregnate Jessica Ennis with some of Messi's sperm and in 18 years time we'll have a World beater

[honourablegeorge]

I don't think you are really getting into the spirit here

 

I know, but I think it's the kind of detail that Wenger would notice, no matter how well fed or gay the players were.

[sangria]

Maybe we could have a team of gays?

 

The Sacred Band of Liverpool.

[épieur]

It should be compulsory for all players to be in therapy.

 

Now we're talking.

 

Also, no masturbation. Ever. I also don't think the players should be in contact with the WAGs on matchday.

[johngibo YPC]

I know, but I think it's the kind of detail that Wenger would notice, no matter how well fed or gay the players were.

 

It took him about 6 years to realise he didn't have a defensive midfielder

[Kvarme Ate My Food]

Is someone keeping an eye on what time they have a poo?

I;d want them all empty-bowelled for the full 90 on a matchday.

[Knox_Harrington]

Is someone keeping an eye on what time they have a poo?

I;d want them all empty-bowelled for the full 90 on a matchday.

This is a big deal.

[Chili Palmer]

we should make our players score more goals than the players they are playing against.

 

Enrique is a crap father obviously as he seems to be in the best form of his liverpool career after the birth of his first child ;)/>)))))))))))))))))))))))

 

 

I don't think his wife is expecting, don't think the baby has been born yet so he's still sleeping well!

[Knox_Harrington]

Whoever scores the winner should *actually* get a sausage dinner.

 

Reverse Wenger.

[cymrococh]

It's fashionable in tech companies these days to have a few days where everyone just works on whatever they want with a vague focus on innovation.

 

They should do this with the players, one day a month let them brainstorm tactics and come up with their own ideas. The best idea goes into the next game.

[Kvarme Ate My Food]

I don't think his wife is expecting, don't think the baby has been born yet so he's still sleeping well!

 

Have you ever shared a bed with a pregnant woman?

Restful it is not.

[honourablegeorge]

This is a big deal.

 

 

We need to keep a log. Of logs, I mean. Keep a log of logs, as opposed to just keeping the logs themselves.

[cymrococh]

Whoever scores the winner should *actually* get a sausage dinner.

 

Reverse Wenger.

Make it the dinner of their choice, and I'm behind it.

 

We need to keep a log. Of logs, I mean. Keep a log of logs, as opposed to just keeping the logs themselves.

They should keep them.

 

and have scientists look at them, and coming to conclusions.