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The 2008/2009 s*** Team of The Season

sutty

By sutty
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sutty

sutty

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No rules on what constitutes s***. Can be in terms of value for money, or just flat out rubbishness.

 

I'll do mine position by position...

 

Goalie:

 

The contenders....

 

For me, there are a few obvious contenders for the s***ty gloves award. Former red Scott Carson who went for decent wedge and has worked steadily to reduce the amount of money per mistake he has cost, Gomez who in the 1st few months of the season appeared to be keeping goal as if effected by a time travel anomaly like Michael J Fox in Back to the Future but since then appears to have gone alright (like Michael J Fox in Back to the Future after fixing the time travel anomoly) and Craig Gordon who went for huge money and has just disappeared and been displaced by somebody who cost nowt.

 

And the winner is Scotty Carson. Saves very little and lets bobbling gently struck shots get past him in a way that makes you wonder just how he did that. Makes the goal appear bigger than it is. Congrats Scott. Congrats Rafa. Over 4 million for him. Tony Mowbray must be thinking that a centre half could have been bought with that money. He must also be thinking that he could have put a wheelie bin in goal and it'd have stopped more.

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sutty

sutty

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Right Back

 

I'll resist the temptation to include Skrtel at boro in this, as it would be incredibly harsh to do so but he was really really bad there.... Anyway - there's a few obvious ones. I'll start with Bosingwa. 18 million. 18 million pounds for this joker. 18 million. Jesus. I almost feel sympathy for Abramovich. Next, Eboue - there is literally nobody involved in English football that likes him. Arsenal fans hate him. His team look like they hate him. His mum probably hates him. Not only is he horrible and cynical, he is also f***ing rubbish. Micah Richards is my other nominee - would have cost 20 million in the summer, would be about 20 quid now. Might become good again I suppose. How bad have them 3 been that Newcastle or Boro's right backs don't get a look in?

 

Really bad.

 

And the winner is..................... Eboue, because I hate him. Bosingwa may have forgotten how to kick a ball and cost 18 mill, but he isn't Eboue.

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Barnesy_10

Barnesy_10

Posted
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No rules on what constitutes s***. Can be in terms of value for money, or just flat out rubbishness.

 

I'll do mine position by position...

 

Goalie:

 

The contenders....

 

For me, there are a few obvious contenders for the s***ty gloves award. Former red Scott Carson who went for decent wedge and has worked steadily to reduce the amount of money per mistake he has cost, Gomez who in the 1st few months of the season appeared to be keeping goal as if effected by a time travel anomaly like Michael J Fox in Back to the Future but since then appears to have gone alright (like Michael J Fox in Back to the Future after fixing the time travel anomoly) and Craig Gordon who went for huge money and has just disappeared and been displaced by somebody who cost nowt.

 

And the winner is Scotty Carson. Saves very little and lets bobbling gently struck shots get past him in a way that makes you wonder just how he did that. Makes the goal appear bigger than it is. Congrats Scott. Congrats Rafa. Over 4 million for him. Tony Mowbray must be thinking that a centre half could have been bought with that money. He must also be thinking that he could have put a wheelie bin in goal and it'd have stopped more.

Gordon is injured, but I agree about Carson.

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sutty

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Can I put forward David Bentley for consideration when you discuss the midfield.

He is more likely to get the right mid berth in this team that he is in the spurs team.

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sutty

sutty

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Left Back - the yon award.

 

OK. Now the geordies get a look in. Rafa started a trend in bringing (in the main) high quality well equipped players from la liga to England. Newcastle obviously looked at this approach and said to themselves, spaniards are good, lets sign some. Jose Enrique takes the 1st nomination for the yon award. Newcastle clearly checked that he was spanish, but that is as far as the scouting went. Next is Gareth Bale. When Ian Rush scores, liverpool do not lose, when Gareth Bale plays, spurs don't win. 3rd nominee, Nicky Shorey. When Villa played Liverpool at Anfield the lamentable Reo Coker played right back and they played Luke Young, a right back at left back. That's how gpood Shorey-for-England has been for the villa.

 

The winner of the yon award is...............

 

well it could be any of them. I've gone for Gareth Bale after a game of rock paper scissors to decide.

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Hassony

Hassony

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Carson & Gomez deffo for GK

 

Keane, Jo & Berbatov for strikers

 

Gomez will break the clean sheet record for spurs if he keeps one at anfield at the weekend

 

Carson (not a surprise he has gone worse considering the GK coach at WBA)

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sutty

sutty

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Centre backs.

 

can I make a case for Sylvan Distin?

 

 

You can try...

 

Centre Backs... The Babb awards

 

Well Big Al nominates big Syl. He mared it for Kuyt to score at Fratton Park, so he's alright by me. Plus he might be past it but I think there are bigger stinking centre halves than him.

 

For example... Steven Taylor. Geordies rate him. That's pretty damning evidence. They say he's good but is let down by his centre back partner all the time. He has played with 107 different centre back partners. They've all let him down. I've a theory that it might be him as well as them.

 

And then Collocini - one of those who has let him down. Big rep. Big price tag. Big hair. He's rubbish. He's apparently a cynical tough tackling argie centre back. I haven't seen him make a tackle. If Ayala was dead, he'd be turning in his grave.

 

Then there's Robert Huth. Chelsea's plan B. He went for big money to Boro. He looks a better emergency centre forward than he does a centre half.

 

When Martin Laursen was struck by injury, Villa turned to the other centre backs on the book. Zat Knight is one of the reasons that their form has dissolved. A massive unit, Knight fails to win any headers or tackles. He's f***ing rubbish.

 

I can't be bothered finding another 2, because the newcastle pairing are clean sweeping this. Taylor and Collocini are Babb

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sutty

sutty

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I think Huth is harsh, he's nowhere near as bad as Collocini, Taylor,. Toure has gone backwards this year as well, been terrible most of the time.

I hate Huth so f*** him.

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sutty

sutty

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Paul Robinson for GK, definitely.

 

Anton Ferdinand is in with a shout after last night.

 

Blackburn's midfield of Vince Grella and Keith Andrews ties up the 2 CM positions.

 

Robinson has been nowhere near as bad as Carson. And spurs would have happily had him back at Xmas.

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