Paul B

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He was once out for a month with a broken flask.

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As opposed to Danes having angry letters written about them after the events of this week, eh?

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Otherwise she'd have got away!

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Some bloke's missis! It was Neville Southall's, allegedly.

Didn't the Basque national under 21 team once come over to England to play a series of freindlies? Apparently, they were staying in a Knightsbridge hotel and after checking in, they all decided to go out on the town but were rushing so much, too many of them got stuck in the revolving doors and several of them ended up really getting hurt. There were broken arms and legs and much ligament damages as well. Which all goes to prove, you shouldn't put all your Basques in one exit. Is that my coat?

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I'm boycotting also. Mind you, I never go to that London for football. Unless it's a cup final, of course and then I can't get enough of the place. Watcha, mite, whoa, knees ap matha braaaaahhhn, cor blimey strike a light, gavnah.

That's just what we need; literate optimism.

And why do the fans get all excited when we do get a corner? We never score from them so what's the big deal. In fact, we are more in danger of conceding ourselves from one of our own corners. Still, I remember a time in the late 70s/early 80s when we'd missed about 7 penalties on the bounce. During one game in the middle of that spell, the ball hit Viv Anderson on the arm and he was right in front of the Kop and the ball went out of play. Even though it was a blatant hand-ball, the immediate shout from the Kop was, "Corner!!!"

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Sung to Monaco fans, "In your Monaco slums, In your Monaco slums, You root in the dustbin for something to eat, You find a dead lobster and think it's a treat, You want a lager but drink Chateau Lafite, In your Monaco slums."

That sounds a pretty nasty identity parade.