Cacofonix the Bard

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DEBL2SJCUf2/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw== Remember when he did that? I want to see more of it

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Yeah he does so much running and pressing, he has a good performance even when he's making mistakes. Although I wonder if he makes mistakes cos he's knackered from all the running

We need to win the league while we've got him in a non-ACN season

Ok enough of that now, this is getting silly

They usually come out like a storm in the second half if they've been s*** in the first, but with all their good defenders out we'll be in business again

As I was saying, what he does with the ball is very good

Yeah he's bloody good now. Even does good things with the ball Well what he did just now wasn't very f***ing good

My God, Dominic's so lanky

How are these d****eads blocking all these shots. It's getting annoying

At least Forster has had the start we wanted to see

Everton seem to draw 0-0 every week these days. I had faith. Now let us make the most of this beautiful gift

What is that song they're playing at Goodison at the end of the game? It's dreadful

Yeah I don't think any of them were even terribly out of position. Just none of them made any f***ing effort to close down, tackle, anticipate a run or get a foot to the ball. Gloriously soft goal.

Even his calves look less sexy today, I noticed to my chagrin. Another regrettable outcome of Pep's coaching.

The thing they need to realise is that if you pass it to one part of the pitch and there's no way through, then the important thing is to pass it over to the other side of the pitch. And if that doesn't work, you have to pass it back to the other side of the pitch. And if if that doesn't work, then pass it to the other side of the pitch. Persistence pays off.

I'm increasingly fine with him leaving, in that I think we'll be fine without him and we'll land on our feet but it would have been really nice to get huge f*** off fee for him. We need a world class striker and they're not cheap (and a left back)

Cba with this fixture. We usually need City to lose but f*** trying to support United. Hard to reprogram your brain to do that.

Yeah it needed to be said. Everyone's talking around it as if it isn't a thing and it's just dishonest

That cameo from Harvey Elliot was really encouraging. Really high quality deliveries into the box. If that's representative of what he can offer this season, we've got a genuine impact player to send on when things aren't working.

I'd love to get, say, 23 league games out of him. He'll score 15 goals. Update: He only got 10 in 21 last season, and his best effort is 15 in 35 in 20/21. So I'm talking s*** obviously. His goals per minutes ratio was probably brilliant though. Also, I can't believe he managed 35 league appearances in one season. All this aside, he's brilliant. He'll win us the league.

Who will play left back against Southampton?

If Chelsea drop points, we're back where we were

They should still be out there playing to make up for time lost to Iwobi's injury

I think there's a goal coming. Ideally we don't concede one as well Ok sorry lads, that's my fault. f***'s sake