Heard a funny football story

[Gray - YPC]

Heard a funny story about Ray Parlour, and I don't know if it's been told before.

 

In the 2003 FA Cup Final one of the bookies put a special on called 'Massage Parlour' offering odds on Ray Parlour needing treatment on the field of play. Parlour hadn't been down injured all season, and as such the odds were pretty generous. Parlour's brother had a word and the sting was set-up with a load of Parlour's friends & family on this bet...

 

So after 70 minutes with Arsenal 1-0 up and looking comfortable Parlour goes in for an innocuous challenge and goes down injured. In the crowd his brother and all his mates are cheering and shouting as he goes down knowing they've cleaned up. The physio came on and as he's approaching Parlour he says "I know what's going on Ray" and even Wenger commented afterwards he'd heard what was going on.

 

[The Hitman]

Clever little gypsy.

[John am Rhein]

I heard that he was booked for a session with (then England manager) Glen Hoddle's pseudo-religious guru Eileen Drewery. He sat down in her chair, said 'Short backs and sides, please luv' and was out of favour with Hoddle ever after.

[ManxRed]

His ex-wife would have picked up all the winnings anyway, so what was the point?

[Gilps]

Who was the West Ham player who wellied the ball out straight from kick off so his mates could clean up spread betting on the time of the first throw in?

Edited June 11, 2007 by Gilps

[smokescreen]

Who was the West Ham player who wellied the ball out straight from kick off so his mates could clean up spread betting on the time of the first throw in?

 

Seemed to be a lot of that going on a few years ago... a couple of times our own Kaiser was involved.

 

Thought it may have been the same thing.

[johngibo YPC]

I heard that he was booked for a session with (then England manager) Glen Hoddle's pseudo-religious guru Eileen Drewery. He sat down in her chair, said 'Short backs and sides, please luv' and was out of favour with Hoddle ever after.

 

I thought that was someone else. can't remember who though

 

just done a quick internet search, most seem to think it was Parlour

 

He's never had a bloody short back and sides in his life!

Edited June 11, 2007 by johngibo YPC

[jfogarty]

Michael Doyle (Coventry) lost his 2 front teeth after being attacked by Robert Page a few months back. Page came at him while his back was turned and he got pretty messed up, Page broke his hand he hit him so hard. The following week the Doyle clan were over in Coventry at a match and were in the players bar after the game. As soon as Page walked in they pounced and he ended up being chased out of the ground

[libero]

Michael Doyle (Coventry) lost his 2 front teeth after being attacked by Robert Page a few months back. Page came at him while his back was turned and he got pretty messed up, Page broke his hand he hit him so hard. The following week the Doyle clan were over in Coventry at a match and were in the players bar after the game. As soon as Page walked in they pounced and he ended up being chased out of the ground

The relevance of that post is what exactly????

[jfogarty]

The relevance of that post is what exactly????

 

Its a football related story and I found it funny. Sorry if I didnt entertain you. Will try harder

[Maldini]

Tony Sheridan was kicked out of Coventry a few months after making his debut and putting in a string of great performances (including a MOTM against United) because he stole a load of the training kit, brought it back to Dublin and sold it off.

[fyds]

Another Parlour one I've told before...

 

While at Arsenal, they were preparing to get beat in another CL home leg () and as such were practicing the day before the game on the pitch at Highbury. As they were getting changed, the buildings alarms went off, and security guards were running everywhere telling people to get out as the Met were on their way with the bomb squad. Someone had phoned in with a bomb scare.

 

Wenger had been in his office and cam out to see what the problem was 'What's going on?' he asked Parlour replied 'it's a berm!' 'What?' says Wenger 'A berrrm! They 'ave dis-covered a nasty berm!' Wenger looked puzzled while the reast of the team fell about in stitches.

[John am Rhein]

I thought that was someone else. can't remember who though

 

just done a quick internet search, most seem to think it was Parlour

 

He's never had a bloody short back and sides in his life!

 

Maybe it was 'cut and blow dry (sic)' or something like that

[Gray - YPC]

Another Parlour one I've told before...

 

While at Arsenal, they were preparing to get beat in another CL home leg () and as such were practicing the day before the game on the pitch at Highbury. As they were getting changed, the buildings alarms went off, and security guards were running everywhere telling people to get out as the Met were on their way with the bomb squad. Someone had phoned in with a bomb scare.

 

Wenger had been in his office and cam out to see what the problem was 'What's going on?' he asked Parlour replied 'it's a berm!' 'What?' says Wenger 'A berrrm! They 'ave dis-covered a nasty berm!' Wenger looked puzzled while the reast of the team fell about in stitches.

 

Brilliant!!

[jfogarty]

Tony Sheridan was kicked out of Coventry a few months after making his debut and putting in a string of great performances (including a MOTM against United) because he stole a load of the training kit, brought it back to Dublin and sold it off.

 

Jesus he was a mentalist/genius. Him and Dessie Baker would be in the Jobstown Inn during training sessions. Keeley knew exactly how to handle them though and they were some team

[Maldini]

Jesus he was a mentalist/genius. Him and Dessie Baker would be in the Jobstown Inn during training sessions. Keeley knew exactly how to handle them though and they were some team

 

My mate played for Beggsboro a few years ago, they were playing CYM Terenure in a friendly when Sheridan was there. He must not have shown up on time because he didn't show up on time, about an hour into the game they heard a noise and turned around to see Sheridan on top of the clubhouse out of his mind and signing and dancing.

 

Funny stories and all, but what a waste of talent, he could have been quality.

[jfogarty]

My mate played for Beggsboro a few years ago, they were playing CYM Terenure in a friendly when Sheridan was there. He must not have shown up on time because he didn't show up on time, about an hour into the game they heard a noise and turned around to see Sheridan on top of the clubhouse out of his mind and signing and dancing.

 

Funny stories and all, but what a waste of talent, he could have been quality.

 

Got dragged to Bray to see his debut for Rovers 3 years ago. It was more for the comedy value I went as he was no longer getting into the CYM team but Roddy decided to draft him in and give him a few quid. Was a dreadful match and after an hour of pure crap Roddy brings on a groggy, unshaven and slightly overweight Sheridan. I was pissing myself laughing at the whole thing. A minute later he gets his first touch out on the left then shoots from an obscene angle and it goes in the top corner. I got up and left!!! (it was between Pats and Rovers for relegation that season). His last match and goal was against Bohs at Dalymount. Sums him up

[jimmylibel]

Who was the West Ham player who wellied the ball out straight from kick off so his mates could clean up spread betting on the time of the first throw in?

 

Wasn't it Lampard?

[deacon]

Paul Kitson

[Billy Dane]

A few years ago, didn't two of the West Ham players get caught in bed together by one of their wives? She stabbed one of them if memory serves, she clearly didn't find it amusing......

[Paul B]

A few years ago, didn't two of the West Ham players get caught in bed together by one of their wives? She stabbed one of them if memory serves, she clearly didn't find it amusing......

 

 

Ian Bishop and Trevor Morley with Morley the unfortunate stabee.

[floyd]

A few years ago, didn't two of the West Ham players get caught in bed together by one of their wives? She stabbed one of them if memory serves, she clearly didn't find it amusing......

It's alleged that Ian Bishop's wife came home one day and found Bishop in bed with his team-mate Trevor Morley, and in her rage she stabbed him in the ar5e. (with a strap-on)

Another similar one is Brian Robson knobbin her off Sky, Claire Tomlinson, and Captain Marvel's missus catching him on the nest.

Edited June 12, 2007 by floyd

[Benzo-13]

Another similar one is Brian Robson knobbin her off Sky, Claire Tomlinson, and Captain Marvel's missus catching him on the nest.

 

I heard that his greeting to the wife was "What do you want?".

[Paul B]

It's alleged that Ian Bishop's wife came home one day and found Bishop in bed with his team-mate Trevor Morley, and in her rage she stabbed him in the ar5e.

 

It was deffo Morley who was stabbed and that info was released by the club at the time though not the circs behind it. He played in a big cup game against medical advice before his wounds had healed as the ammers were short of fit players.

[Gray - YPC]

Ian Bishop and Trevor Morley with Morley the unfortunate stabee.

When my brother lived in Dallas he went to watch Dallas Burn play, and Ian Bishop was playing for with for the opposition. Early on in the game a long ball was spread out wide towards Bishop, and at this point my brother started chanting "One Trevor Morley, there's only one Trevor Morley". Bishop heard this as the ball was comnig his way, got totally distracted and let the ball slip under his studs and out of play. He turns around to see a big drunk Scouser in a Liverpool top, and had a look on his face that said "I come all the way to f***nig America to get away from that s***... and some c***'s here to carry it on!!"