PhilM

And he looks like Bjorn Tore Kvarme.

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He's playing for Fylkir in the Icelandic Landsbankadeildin

It was all a mix up. We're actually signing Etuhu from Norwich

Riise at left full back would be suicidal against Ronaldo. Absolute lunacy.

Why have you included Valdes in that? He's a terrible goalkeeper. He's more notable for having good patches of form every now and then.

There's a team in Korea called Lucky Gold Star Cheetahs. Also isn't there Young Boys Berne in Switzerland? Sounds like something Gary Glitter would suffer from.

I've always struggled to get to grips with the Tuono and the Mille. They're both so high, you kind of feel like you're perched on the bike rather than feeling like part of it. The Aprillia four stroke engines are thankfully a lot better than their two stroke ones from a reliability point of view. My comment about the R1 earlier...I'm not saying it's a bad bike or anything. Far from it, it's a sensationally good bike, but it is the stereotypical bike for a 40 something stockbroker in the midst of a midlife crisis to buy. The sort of guy who had a FS1E when he was 17 and wants to feel young again. Not that I can talk, I've just sold my GSXR750 It's different strokes for different folks though. A Z1000 in the right hands will more than embarrass an average sportsbike. I know, I got taken to bits by one and I was on a ZX12R

He's also put this on Hearts' website: "Dear Monkeys, Today I will not be showing your portrait to you. It is pointless. You are one step away from becoming human beings. Go and carefully have a look at yourself in the mirror. Don't you see a human in it? Stop fighting for the values which the ex-captain of Hearts was fighting for. Education and truthful information - that should be your input to humankind. Your leader Mowgli is not taking bananas any more, now he is taking money for lies and untruthful interpretation. However he is greedy and makes you collect rotten information from cesspits and poisons readers with it. This is unworthy even of a monkey. Today I will express my opinion in English about refereeing in order that your Mowgli will not make you tell lies. To discuss whether referees take money or not is the same as discussing a woman who gives herself with no love. Isn't it better to concentrate on the standard of their work instead of looking for reasons for their poor performance? A woman cheats herself and nature if she gives herself without love. If a referee officiates a game based on his personal love, he commits a cynical crime, especially when the public has trusted him. I respect those referees who take money from two stupid teams and then honestly officiates a game. They do not harm football in any way. Though it is bad, still everybody is equal for them. Perhaps that is the reason why football in Italy will never die despite all the scandals that continuously shake it. I think that is much better than being the champions for 40 years while building up the same system for further 40 years. Now it has become obvious to me why you, the Monkeys, were trying to ruin Hearts not only in the Championship, but in European competitions as well. I think it was not without your help that the 'frozen' referee from Russia was selected to officiate our match and that in the games against the Greek side we got three red cards. It is not without your help that traitors were presented as heroes thus showing the road to children for betrayal. You will always call teachers silly because unlike you they lead children along the correct path. Protecting your values in that way just spoils not only football, but also a Scotsman's proud name. I beg you Mowgli, take the monkeys back to the Safari Park!"

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Very graceful of you to admit it. I don't know where you are living but I'm pretty sure I could find a UK spec brand new Hornet 900 from a dealer in the South East if you're prepared to travel to get it. Fowlers of Bristol are a huge dealership, if that's more your neck of the woods. They should be able to hook you up without any problems. http://www.fowlers.co.uk/index.html If you have back problems, have you thought of trying something like a Suzuki GSX1400 or a Yamaha VMAX? They have bigger engines, and more torque. A lot more relaxing to ride, but can still hustle along, just in a less frantic way than the Hornet.

Yeah, if you want to be a born again biker cliché. Why not get the whole leather power ranger suit in the same colours as your bike while you're at it? 900 Hornets aren't hard to get hold of. There are several of them in my local Honda dealership and they are excellent bikes. The new Speed Triple and the Z1000 are well worth a look too.

That picture above is Huth being stood on my Mellor, who is looking wider every time I see him. Brouwer is the one going up for the header in the top pic from the offal site and Insua is the one in this pic http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/nimages/res08.jpg http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/nimages/res10.jpg That's Idrizaj.

That's exactly what I thought as well.

Chelsea have already had their blip, it just depends if the Mancs have theirs.

...who are rubbish and have never beaten anyone of any consequence...

And he killed all the dinosaurs.

Got no problem with Palermo, it's just that pink shirts aren't really football are they?

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Yeah, he played in all of their games. From his wikipedia page: "In December 2006, it was announced on the BBC1 program 'Final Score' that Steve Finnan is the only player to have played in every English football league (from the Premiership to the Conference), the Uefa Cup, the Champions League and the World Cup."