Coyler

All right, 'tis grand so. Oh, that is good.

This content is not viewable to guests.

Guilty as charged. And you didn't say it was a bit Oscar Wilde.

McManaman? Loads of the players that came through around that time, I should imagine; wasn't there a period where the first-choice team basically got 1-11 at the start of the season and then the fringe players and squad players got the rest of the numbers? I'd say a few changed year on year.

Old Clear-Orf told the children later that the reason those nasty ragamuffins had written such horrid things was that they had too much free time on their hands on Champions' League nights.

If he doesn't get on after all this I'm writing Rafa a letter. I'll ask him how much schquabs he wants off the board while I'm at it.

This content is not viewable to guests.

This content is not viewable to guests.

It'd be fecking class, though. Good God. You never know, sure. Warm-ups could take two of the starting midfield, a sub at half time could sneeze really hard and pop his eyeball out.

5 minutes to go... make a name for yourself, a mhic...

Has to be 3-1 again, some fecking heart-attack of a final ten minutes shooting into the Anfield Road end 'cause of the bleedin' coin. Luis García, 20' Some 'Gueser, 44' Fowler, 76'... George Hamilton on RTÉ says something about it not being at the Kop end but that's where he'll remember scoring it when he tells his grandkids about it and just listen to that, it mightn't be the Stadium of Light but it certainly is the Stadium of Noise... the crowd in the pub plead with the barman to put on the Sky commentary for the love of Christ Kewell, 81'... miles offside but given That felt like a kick in the groin, there, thanks.

Haha. Shut up you, you small, fat, dark-haired, attractive, humorous prick... No, wait... .

But everybody can see what is happening on the pitch these days. We're not all in a dark room somewhere relying on someone to pop in every week and give us vague, cryptic snippets they got from someone who said they work with someone who was at the match, and by the way it was baaad news, man. Which is the situation with the boardroom-squeezing-Rafa-out-through-parsimony scheidt. Jesus, that's some option you're giving me there. I presume your friends and employees and longterm mixers get the same choice too? Fair play to you, thanks for the help.

You're dead right: what happens on the pitch is a matter of fact and record; what people are getting het up about "off the pitch" is a matter of hearsay and rumour and speculation.

What do you reckon my problem is?

This content is not viewable to guests.

This content is not viewable to guests.

sol·ip·sism n. Philosophy The theory that the self is the only thing that can be known and verified. The theory or view that the self is the only reality. solip·sist n. gay adj. gay·er, gay·est Of, relating to, or having a sexual orientation to persons of the same sex. Showing or characterized by cheerfulness and lighthearted excitement; merry. Bright or lively, especially in color: a gay, sunny room. Given to social pleasures. Dissolute; licentious.

Irish pre-improvement Joe Cole; talent-diving festerpool of moangreed; Stanley Badgekiss; strawberry-bland Southside wastronaut; ugly.

This content is not viewable to guests.

This content is not viewable to guests.

This content is not viewable to guests.

I love it when that's spelt right. Fair-play-to-you five!

Although I look forward to the day in ten years' time that Benítez comes out with a facts-notwithstanding "f*cking perch" quote.