£440,000

Fingers crossed for Betis away!

We would like to, but we'll be washing our hair.

RIP. A true legend.

Just read that Micah Richards found out his dad had died just before the match. No wonder he seemed not quite right.

Barcelona's hockey team have just signed some other bloke called Arnau Martinez. Good that we didn't accidentally sign him.

Wikipedia says he was remorseful, so that's ok then.

Always better to f*** someone before they explode though. Very messy if it happens during.

If we can't get Diomande, maybe we should be looking at the guy who did it in 1966. Could probably get him on a free too.

Will Hughes go to their matches?

If they did get a 60-point deduction, they'd probably end up 18th, so West Ham and Spurs would be safe.

Mate of brother-in-law who has links to West Ham reckons that the judgement is coming next week and City are getting deducted 60 points and relegated. Very probably utter b******s!

For us or for him?

There's a branch of Jorge Mendes Football Supplies just near their ground.

Not sure the Bible is niche!

Allison at right back and no keeper is a brave move.