WillG

...his hair is in truly great condtion *unfortunately alopecia runs in his family and both his parents and elder sister are as bald as a set of coots*

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PS That's your perogative Murph - your time would be much better spent at a rifle range followed by a long weekend in Texas

i was taking the piss - for every song we have, they have one to the same tune about us. Small-time doesn't even come close!!

What confuses me is why a Manc would want to spend any time on a Liverpool forum in the first place. I'm genuinely puzzled - I'd never dream of spending any time on Red Cafe or any other Manc site. Basically (and regardless of all your recent sucess) you're f*cking small-time, classless, and still bitter... decades on from our global domination. Get over it - it will eat away at your very soul. If you're not careful it will get to the point where spend more time singing about us than your own team

They (and by that I mean our owners) can stick their new shirts right up their f*cking arses. I know it would be like cutting off an arm to some people and also virtually impossible to organise, but a complete boycott of the last two games would send a message even that thick-skinned Texan c*nt couldn't ignore.

Capello likes him Fergies likes him Grant likes him Wenger likes him Rafa likes him it will soon dawn on people that the boy can actually play a bit, will give us a great balance down the left and has the workrate that Rafa demands.

Tell them to f*ck off - some people on here have VERY short memories.

We were always going to have to score at Chelski, so as much as Riise's OG was a pain in the a*se it's not the end of the world. I am quietly confident and this tie is FAR from over

That's the spirit - I honestly can't see them beating us. At worst we could lose on penalties - if we take the chances we create we should give them a showing.

That's fair comment - doesn't explain tweedle dee & his mum though. If had a choice of setting fire to anyone tonight JAR would be able to sleep easy in his bed - he's on;y ever tried his BEST and mistakes happen, especially when you've only got one leg (just ask Paul McCartney) But as for that bitter steaming pile of sandtimonious shyte Beglin, I'm dumdstuck. If anyone has any info as ro what happened re: his departure after the injury, I'd be very interested to know

Alonso, like many players who have spent most of the season recovering fron a serious injury, came good tonight and shoved his detractor's words up their arses. We'd have been right in the shyte if it had not been for his class and composure in the first 30 minutes - world class!

Are you suggesting that JT is a f*cking ignorant, arrogant pr*ck, whose football abilities are hugely over-exaggerated in the press, while his family's dubious activities are largely overlooked. Shame on you Sir!

I've just remembered another Tyldsley gem... when Ballack handballed in the area, Beglin's making excuses as usual, when Mr T butts in and says that Ballack makes a definite move towards the ball with his arm and before you can say "that balmy night in barcelona" contradicts himself to say "but it has to be hand to ball to be a penalty"

... that a bonfire wouldn't cure

So true you said it twice

I was going to post this had we won, so this is not a bitter ramble............... BUT What the f*** happened to this c* nt - was he gang-raped at his leaving do? I've heard some one-sided, biased, s***ty, bitter commentary in my time, but the pr*ck even managed to make Clive "that balmy night in Barcelona" Tyldsley sound objective. Note to ITV: I'd rather have Joe Royle & Drunken Ferguson commentate for the return leg. On a more positive note... MOSCOW HERE WE COME... We didn't play great tonight and were very unlucky to get a draw - a win or a score draw (2-2) puts us through. * * * * * * * * * * * * Funniest bit of super-biased commentary tonight... Drogba's on the floor for three-four minutes and the Kop are in full song... "f*** off Chelsea FC, you ain't got no history, 5 Europeans Cups and 18 leagues, that's what we call HIST-ORY" Tyldsley, getting the wrong end of the stick as f*cking usual says... "the Chelsea fans are doing their upmost to raise their team" cue camera cut to the away end and the silent, frigid Chelsea fans - one of them was even sucking his thumb!!!!!!! I nearly pissed myself laughing

Three goals to Liverpool & a single goal to Chelsea Fernando Torres to score the first goal* Get to the bookies before kick-off & spend the winnings on bubbly for the second leg. *Gerrard as a back up

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F*CK OFF TOMMY *pulls braces*

Some lads were belting this out at the second leg v Arsenal (in a pub in London mind) To the tune of Bad Boy - Gloria Estefan SUNG Ba - Ba - Ba - Babel You make me feel so good SHOUTED Oh Babel, you know you make me feel so good! repeat

Merseyside Police have just announced that anyone involved in this hilarious jape can, for one night only, be stabbed... repeatedly, with no fear of prosecution for those doing the stabbing.

"What a delighted scorer, it's Tommy Smith"

"and the league title, surely is won" Barry Davies - not sure which year

Does anyone know the quickest way to get a head-on-a-stick delivered from Texas to Liverpool?