wacko

That only applies to penniless Turks, don't you know.

When we play three in CM, I think there's not much in it. None of Chelsea's players can pass like Xabi. Lampard and Ballack are smarter and a bigger goal threat than Gerrard, but neither is half as good defensively, nor do they put themselves about as much. Essien is a poor man's Gerrard. He's maybe a little better than Sissoko, but he won't be in a year or two. Makelele is a top-class defensive mid, as is Didi. Maka might be faster and pass better, but he last took a shot on goal in 1993, and there's the Hamann crumple. Essentially, I'd be very happy with either midfield. To be honest, I'd prefer Ballack to go to Chelsea rather than United. He'd make a much bigger difference at the Glazerbowl.

Be realistic. We've made huge progress this season. Just because things aren't going as well as they were, unless we implode, we'll finish the season much improved over last. We're only three or four players away from making that leap to the very top.

I think he's too lazy for Rafa. Not enough tackling back.

Apparently, he has a wooden leg.

Now that ManUSA, Chelsea and Bayern are out, there's no-one I DON'T want to win it. I'll admit to a slight preference for Lyon and Benfica, otherwise Barca. Too hard to call who will win, but Arsenal have got the "easy" side of the draw.

We should have won 2 European Cups this year

Or worse: Phil Neville

Because it happens once every blue moon, perhaps?

I am convinced Carra did what he did because the only other option was to pass to Traore.

As a winger. That's something else Rafa does that makes no sense to me. Cisse is utter cr*p on the wing. He can't dribble and he can't pass. All he can do is run and shoot. As Morientes can do neither of those things, and we're dominating possession and creating chances, I'd say it's worth dropping him and giving Cisse a go.

The league, too?

But was that because of or in spite of Parry? The Gerrard thing last summer was mostly down to Gerrard being daft, but Parry could have avoided the entire episode if he had been on the ball. Same goes for losing Owen for such a silly price. He may not be guilty of gross mismanagement, but he doesn't seem to be making a particularly noticeable contribution to the progress of the club.

Crumcamp is from the Outer Hebrides surely.

I like the attempt to update the liverbird, but I think this doesn't quite hit the mark. It's too soft, not enough corners and edges. The liverbird on the badge is much "harder". I love the pose, but it needs more edge. I think it's the neck. It's too wobbly. Maybe the head should be in front of it. Just a little wide of the mark, IMO. It might be just my taste--I like simple, suggestive designs, and the current stylised liverbird is great, just a little too static. I'd really go for something that combines the hardness and simplicity of the standard liverbird with the dynamism of this new one. Beautiful artwork. Wish I could draw like that

Like having a low head or something? Nah, those sporty goggle type things are nigh-on indestructible. Your head would break long before they shatter.

To the same team that put the Germans out. We, at least, scored and gave them half a game. The Germans were so lucky last time out, particularly with the draw and the handball on the goal line against the USA. They had much the same side we demolished in Munich, and only Kahn's form kept them in it so long. This time out, Kahn is half the keeper his was in 2002 (and we all know how iffy Lehmann is). Ballack is the only world-class player in the side. There are a couple more, but Klinsmann won't play them because he wants a young side. All very noble, but throwing out players over 30 in favour of youngsters just because they're young is stupid, and just one year before the World Cup in your own country is hardly the best time to do it. Add to that, half the kids don't even play for their clubs. In particular, the first choice centre-backs, Huth and Metzelder, are both bench warmers; Metzelder is being kept on Dortmund's bench by Wörns, who Klinsmann has refused to pick (and he won't be going now after what he said about Klinsmann). The Germans were woeful last night. Italy let them have the ball now and again, but took it back and walked it through the German defence almost at will. For me, the only German player who came out of the game deserving some respect was Huth. He had a nightmare and made mistakes for all of the Italian goals, but by the end of the match he was more or less the only German still playing. Respect to him for that. After last night, Klinsmann might consider throwing him on up front. He's certainly not much of a defender. He was out of position constantly, let players stand around for 10 seconds or more unmarked in the box, and for the header at the back post (the 3rd goal?) he had absolutely no idea there was an Italian standing behind him.

I think Beckham wouldn't be such a bad idea. A lot of folk say he's not the speedy winger we're looking for, but isn't what we're really after--if Crouch and Moro are up front--top-notch crosses? That one-trick-pony's trick. He would give us another option in central midfield, too, and could swap positions nicely with Gerrard during the game. Forget about what he costs in transfer or wages because the Japanese will buy enough shirts to set that off. The Beckham media circus could be a bonus. The media is already sniffing around anyway. He laps the attention up and it'll distract the press from other things LFC, leaving everyone else to get on with the business of football. He might be a show-pony off the pitch and a muppet, but he's a very hard-working player and a professional. I think Abramovich would love to have him at Chelsea for the same reasons Real wanted him, but I can't see Mourinho either having a place for him in the side, nor wanting Beckham encroaching on his limelight. He'll almost certainly move to London if he comes back, and his sinister, malnourished bride will want to go there, too. But he'd almost certainly jump at the chance to fly to training in a chopper every day, too.

The current side is not noticably better. They may have strikers now, but Kahn isn't the keeper who kept them in the last World Cup and Lehmann most certainly isn't. An additional handicap is Klinsmann's refusal to consider old players even when they're clearly the best choice.

The truly astonishing thing about Beckham is he has absolutely no idea how stupid he actually is.

He'd likely be used to rest/cover for Makelele, who's getting on a bit. Possibly instead of Essien, he's certainly five times the player Gudjohnsen is. At any rate, one of Lampard, Makelele, Essien or Ballack will be on the bench and presumably not happy about it. Ballack's a tool if he goes to Chelsea. They so clearly don't need him. None of the teams he wants to play for need him. He ought to go to ManUSA if he wants to play, but as has been said, all he's interested in is winning the CL.

Del Bosque, Capello, Hitzfeld, Wenger. Even if Rafa is the most obvious candidate, I don't think Real will be prepared to jump through too many hoops to get him because there'll be a raft of top managers queuing up for the job now. Let's not discount the possibility of those crazy old Real fans appointing another nut-job.

I think when ManUSA bought Rooney, Mourinho said he wasn't interested in a player who wasn't developed; he wanted the finished article. As long as he doesn't have any limits in the transfer market, why would he buy a promising youngster when he can just as easily have the finished article?

unless they are of colour, of course.

Only three times?