The La

So I watched this last night and laughed uproariously at this contemptible little spunk bubble. And then it dawned on me – he looks eerily like I did when I was 14, right the way down to the slightly hunched shoulders and the overly long sleeves. Of course, by 19 I’d blossomed, my peacock plumage in full glory and by 22 I could rock a cardigan like Jurgen Klopp can rock pumps with no socks…. Listen Hugo, son, be true to yourself – don’t swear when you don’t feel comfortable swearing. I know I was never there to tutor you in the ways of the righteous but I’m here now. Some more advice – why not buy jazz mags and sell them to the kids from school at a profit? Used to subsidize my match ticket, did that. And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son! Oh, by the way, if you’re old enough to remember Ron “Chopper” Harris, you’re old enough to remember Zammo from Grange Hill and Brian “Chocky” McClair. They used to tease your dad mercilessly about those resemblances.

f***, that might fit with the 1995 Reading Festival...

Yeah, him. Let's talk about him. How old do you lads reckon he is? Asking for a friend....

It wasn't smarmy, old man. It was affectionate. Now give us a kiss bigtits!

No, not just. And he'll be grand as he is and as we are. But he'd be even better if we played with more width. Do pay attention, 007...

That 'every touch' compilation really is impressive. Almost everything he did was positive and productive. A good striker can turn an average team into a good one and he's clearly a very, very good striker indeed. If we can keep him fit for 80% of the season from here on in we'll be absolutely fine. In retrospect, he clearly was the very best striker on the market last summer and we did well to get him. I still think, stylistically, we won't be able to get the absolute maximum out of him. I don't think we've been set up to exploit this kind of striker since the days of Barnes and Houghton. However, this isn't a problem specific to Liverpool - it's difficult to think of any top side who set up that way these days. He'd have been unreal in an early Ferguson United team or that Keegan Newcastle side. That slight concern aside, he's plenty good enough - keep him fit and we're laughing.

Loved his celebration when Coutinho scored the second. Was about to be brought on and went f***ing nuts on the touchline.

Really enjoyed that. First half it looked like we didn't close the passing lanes at times but second half we played in their half and started robbing it in good positions. Nobody had a bad game - Origi doesn't look like a centre forward but when he gets wide he shows something. There's competition for some shirts now which is a good, good thing

Firmino Ibe Allen

I'm still here, just a lazy f***. I had loads of erudite stuff to post on the decline of Brendan but then I skinned up. By the way, loved the analytics podcast this week - touched on a lot of the concerns I've been too lazy to post about. You guys are doing some seriously interesting stuff these days

There are some pics of the team getting the train down and Sturridge is definitely there. Looking sumptuously accessorized to boot.

If we're going to stick with a back 3, we're going to need to find an alternative to Moreno at LWB. Might as well give Ibe a chance there - he's probably the most obvious candidate For me, the three biggest problems we have right now are the lack of alternatives to Mignolet and Skrtel as well as the lack of a spare man in areas that can hurt the opposition. I'm all for giving Gomez and Can plenty of opportunities in a back 3. Somebody is going to need to step up and provide a real alternative to Skrtel.

Would like to see Chiravella get some game time. I think he made a big differecen against Bordeaux. That period when we started dominating from the start of the second half up to the point we scored - he was absolutely crucial in that. If it is 3 at the back, do we have both Rossiter and Allen sitting or does one of them push forward?

Doubt it, unless it's a diamond with Rossiter at the base and Lallana at the apex.

Back 3 with Ibe or Lallana wing back I would have thought

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One of the best songs of all time that, Mr Hodgson And that too Mr girling. Been working on a coutinho version of that for ages but you beat me to it. Interestingly, in berlin right now and girling keeps autocorrecting to goehring.

What's particularly unforgivable is that FSG have been here before. I imagine the plan when they bought us was to keep the owl in situ until the end of the season with their DOF handling transfers until they were able to transition to their chosen manager at the end of the season. Events overtook them pretty quickly and they ended up with Kenny, a man they probably never wanted on a shortish leash. Then they ended up treating possibly the finest human being ever associated with this club like s*** because they never really wanted him in the first place. They don't learn this lot, or if they do learn, they seem to learn the wrong lesson.

It's the club that's handling this badly though, isn't it? I'd guess that a sizable majority of Liverpool fans wanted the manager replaced after Stoke. If the club disagree then they need to give him some sort of cover, otherwise stuff like "Rodgers sacked his own coaching staff to save his own skin" and "they want him to resign so they can avoid a pay off" will continue to foment. Club are perfectly happy to leak selective tidbits when it suits them. Something like "the club believe that Rodgers' job was made exponentially harder last season by a number of factors and there is acknowledgement that, in retrospect, they didn't do enough to ensure he had enough off field support. Current moves are with this in mind and the belief in Boston is that with an improved backroom team Rodgers can return Liverpool to the heights seen the season before." Even if it's not true, it gives the guy some cover. Everything right now suggests that they are pissed off with him but just not quite to the point of sacking him. No point in that - if they believe he is the man to lead us next season then they need to back him publicly and own some of the f*** up. With the fixture list the way it is things could get ugly very quickly. It just looks like they're setting him up to fail.

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I very much enjoyed Tony's medical quiz show "Tibs and Fibs," the jewel of Channel 5's launch schedule

Tell us the the one about your "friend" who bummed Tony Slattery

I'm with you most of the way on this. Not that I don't think he's a good player or that he'd be a big improvement on Aspas, but this is the sort of transfer I'd prefer to see wait until closer to deadline day when we know where we are with other, more fundamental targets. One thing people often forget about the Keane / Barry / Jovetic disaster of a summer is that we paid a fair bit early in the window for Cavilieri. Whether that money would have made any difference or not on Rafa's missed targets I don't know but signing backup players early because they're easier to get doesn't exactly fill me with confidence. Having said that, backup strikers (like backup keepers) are unstable entities - the only ones who are willing to do the role tend to be either: a) very young (with expectations of playing time raised if they do well) b) extremely overpaid c) s*** I suppose it counts for something when you get that rare alignment of the stars and a good player like Lambert will come in knowingly to warm the bench, but this needs to be like the fifth or sixth most exciting transfer we make this summer

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