Rusty Shackleford

In the last week he’s been compared on here to Heskey, Benteke and Cisse. What a player he must be.

He’s a likeable character and there is no denying he more than often impacts games in a positive way. But f***ing hell he does my head a lot of the time. He has an absolutely staggering lack of composure. How can you be so good at getting into goalscoring positions and so comically bad at putting the ball in the net. When Salah eventually goes and we have a 30 goal a season shortfall there will be no cult hero b******s to shield him.

This cult hero b******s does my head in. Learn to actually the ball in the net please (trying to tempt fate here). You can’t have pigtails and finish like he does.

There are goalkeepers in League One who are better than Kelleher. The idea that any Premier Leahgue club were going go come in for him at £20m was absurd. Pretty much every second string Premier League goalie is an accident waiting to happen though.

He’s an odd player. Capable of frightening the life out of you but I remember watching him in the tournament for Belgium and thinking be looked brainless. Forgot him after that and was surprised when I heard City signed him. Been decent in other fanes though hasn’t he?

We just aren’t any of their business to be fair.

Urgh. Wasting Mac Allister as a player by having him there. Absolutely to everyone’s detriment. If they don’t feel Andre is the one then fair enough. But don’t spend £16m on a (probably) average defensive midfielder you never start and square peg one of the best in the league.

My lad asked me last night who was our best player. It’s Alisson isn’t it? By a nose, but still him.

Should have scored is an understatement. Does he ever go a game without an inexplicably s*** finish? Thankfully he also works incredibly hard, is a threat all over the pitch and always seems to find a way to contribute. I find it hard to imagine him improving his finishing enough to be an absolute superstar for us though.

Elliot really good when he came on.

Lad is making his living by just kicking the ball into defender’s shins. Like there is an Asian betting ring centred around it.

Having not been able to watch much of the first half, how were we doing until Jones went off? Who was the better side 11 v 11?

Just marvellous.

Take the point and get out of town.

I try to forget he’s even our player. Not interested in seeing him come back for a handful of games only to inevitably break down again. Can he please just disappear like Melo and let the others get on with it. I’d rather the minutes go to the new lads, Elliot and Jones.

Contractually obliged to be s*** every first half this lot.

I don’t for a second think he hasn’t got a clause in his contract which prohibits speaking up about homosexuality or other social issues.

From deep within the chest. As an old Japanese man would.

Little known fact here for you all. Gravenberch is old Frankish for Gravy Boat.

I was hoping for a sofa and they’ve brought me a lamp.

Is there anything at all to suggest Quansah isn’t just another Williams or Koumetio? Man City already had loads of good centre backs and just spent an additional £80m on the best one available who, by the way, grew up supporting us and wanted to come here. Three of the ones we have are always injured. We don’t need some promising, patient kid; we need one talented and fit enough to start right now and frankly who cares if it knocks anyone else's nose out of joint. Midfield has a number of really good players with one glaring omission but defence is an absolute horror show.

He’s basically an NHS Doctor that volunteers to give every death message. Mum and kids wiped out and Dad on the way in. No bother lads, i’ll pick this one up (again).

Much rather the fulham lad. I don’t care of it’s an overpayment. Being 28 never really stops the truly elite clubs does it?

Can’t say the thought of Gravenberch moves me particularly. Still, at least he hasn’t played because he’s been s***e rather than injured so that’s one thing.

Either we are signing no-one or we are signing s***e. I don’t see another outcome for us. Tugging the arms of the fat lasses at kickout time again. Outside bet for ‘keeping powder dry until January’ for Andre until we get blindsided in November when he agrees a deal with Atletico Madrid.