Rumours abound this morning of a major bustup between Jamie 'Utility' Carragher and Frank 'Shoot on site' Lampard. Baggage handlers report hearing Lampard whining that he isn't being aloud to shoot from wherever he is on the pitch, as he feels it'll affect his shots off target ratio. During a break in training, in an attempt to knock some sense into the stupid t***, Jamie Carragher is reported to have taken him to one side to have a quite word in his ear. This involved pinning him against a wall, kicking him in the balls and nutting him. The session resumed but Frank was carried off after a few minutes after Stevie G broke him in half with a two footed, b****** high tackle. Sven was seen to be thanking the gods.