goodrobotusses

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If everyone was fit and on-form (excepting the likes of King and Woodgate, who're better than the other back-ups, but never fit), I'd go... James, Green, Hart Johnson, Brown, A.Cole, Bridge, Ferdinand, Terry, Upson, Lescott Barry, Hargreaves, Lampard, Milner, Lennon, Beckham, Gerrard, J.Cole Heskey, Rooney, Crouch, Defoe If it were down to talent, I'd have Richards ahead of Brown, but Brown is more reliable (which says a lot about Richards' pea-sized brain). I probably prefer the likes of Baines, Warnock, or Cahill as players over Bridge or Lescott, but the latter pair have more experience. If Hargreaves isn't fit take Carrick (though England's lack of watercarriers is surprising - suppose Parker would be an outside shout for that role). Walcott misses out by virtue of being a crap forward, and a less effective speedster on the wing than Lennon. Beckham, as much as the circus around him grates on me, brings experience and presence - he's also easier to bare now he's accepted his role of back-up. Carlton Cole misses out to Crouch because Crouch offers something different up front besides brute strength. I'm not Heskey's biggest fan, but having him on the pitch makes Rooney play better - something that is vital if England are to have any chance this summer. That said, if Capello wins the World Cup with that sorry lot, then he deserves to be praised to the heavens as a genius.

Noticed he was gee-ing teammates up when play had broken up and we were awaiting Stoke set-pieces and such. Was good to see.

'arry's forever "dahn to the bare bones". So are the coffers at West Ham, Southampton, Portsmouth... odd that. "If we can get in jahst one or two more..."

Oh Darren, it's such a turn-on when you talk dirty like that.

We're trying to get rid of crap players.

The Killers.

Against Spurs I'd play Degen there. Modric cuts inside all the time and will leave Assou-Ekotto exposed, so an attacking RB would be of more use to us than, say, Carragher.

To be honest, I wasn't really thinking of the geography of cocktails when I posted. Though yeah, that'd make more sense.

You're talking about switching the best defensive midfielder in the world - the Argentina captain - for someone that can't even get into the England squad.

He does?

Mental.

Okay, to be serious... POSITIVE - one of the most intelligent players in the squad (arguably THE most intelligent now Alonso has gone) - ditto passing/crossing - our ONLY player capable of taking a decent set-piece NEGATIVE - made of glass - takes a few games getting upto speed after injury, then gets injured when he hits form (Owen/Van Persie syndrome) - not the quickest (but good enough at reading the game to compensate)

He makes a lovely mojito.

Footballers are detached from reality alright. Especially Joey Barton, who has this idea he's a good player and not a yard dog.

Lucas Reina Insua Bloody awful game, but a lovely 3 points.

He was still damn quick when he was fat, yeah, but he became incredibly lazy whenever the ball was nowhere near him - presumably to save what little energy he had. Give him the ball then and he could still burst away from people, but he may as well have been a mannequin the rest of the time - it's why the Madrid fans lost patience with him, despite his incredible goal record there.

The thing with Ronaldo's trickery (as opposed to the Portuguese version) was that it always had a clear purpose when it was used - not just attempts at showing off. His feet and his brain were both so f***ing quick.

Easy to forget just how good he was. Shame about the dodgy knees and the fondness for cake and transsexuals.

Canadian.

Yep. Think it's a combination of that, and being slightly self-conscious about having less time on the ball than he's used to. Think once he's played himself up to speed though he'll be fine though. He looks elegant, but not quite 'there' yet, which is totally understandable. Seeing that should hopefully make it obvious as to why he's featured so sparingly in games where we've struggled recently.

If you're talking about asking for Inverting The Pyramid, I wholeheartedly recommend it. Great read.

May as well watch schoolyard football if you're binning offside - goalhangers galore. Just wish they'd ditch all the modern offside interpretations and go back to how it was - if you're offside, you're offside. Yes, we might see more defensive football, but it's just made a mess of the game for defending. Besides, beating the offside trap is/was a skill in itself.

Well, Arsenal have ripped off their system this year, with two wide forwards pressed up against the opposition full-backwhen defending, but with a remit to cut inside while attacking. Then you have a #9 who can drop back into an attacking midfield position, with central midfield runners filling the space by running beyond him.