Grabber and Lobster

And is a big, arsey handful. Actually might suit us better than a quick false 9 type that zooms in and out of the back line. Far more worried about Mitoma (left winger, rapid & skillful) & Mac Allister (nuff said).

Sh*ts and giggles, hopefully.

This content is not viewable to guests.

Your heart burns because Gavi's gone?

Ah I can see the problem now. Simple typo: Keita used to get tackled in the street by cats.

AMEX is miles out of town, designed to be entirely serviced by train, no parking allowed within 3 miles of it, and walking there would be along a dual carriageway. There are buses but they are rammed and account for less than 20% of the crowd, vs 80+% that come by train. So I do get it. It's not like getting to a ground in a big city - it's a lot weirder than that.

Yep, while I am genuinely excited by the youngsters and the two cracking new forwards, it is hugely tempered by watching our obviously creaking midfield, and being implicitly told we've already spent spent all we've got. The whole thing is just annoying, as a not-crazy amount of extra funding would mitigate our problems, prep for the future evolution of the squad, and make us more competitive this season. Seems like the definition of a false economy, but I doubt anyone here disagrees with that point.

Sorry, TWO of our best ever

Having sold 3 other forwards to finance it, including one of our best ever.

Caicedo has been superb for Brighton, and probably the single reason they're playing so well so far this season. His energetic ball-winning and progressive passing has let Gross do his thing much higher up the pitch, and the wing-backs to get forward. I'll be amazed if Brighton let him go, as they've only just lost Bissouma and it would risk trashing their overall play - though obviously if he has a release clause then we're laughing.

Very much so. Runs around a lot and winds up opposition players a lot (especially goalies) but he's got the technical skills of a cement mixer.

Actually a Fall b-side, some time in the early 90s.

El Carnage.

That highlight reel makes me think most of Batistuta. That'd be OK I suppose.

Bowen, surely. Will cost a lot more but scores & assists plenty and I think he was only injured once last season.

There are suggestions that are still punishable by being shot of out a cannon.

Tierney. Always dreadful, think he just makes decisions on a 50/50 random basis.

Write with an Egypt pun.

I have no idea what you're talking about but now it's freaking me out. Where exactly do these things live? How big? HOW BONKERS? (In other news, obvs delighted the real Keita has turned up this year)

Wondering if FSG already reckon they've bought Mo's 'replacement' in New Luis.

If Trent got a long term injury, surely we'd look at Hendo there, in terms of replicating what TAA gives us. Hendo has the defensive aggression and passing/crossing, and more legs than Milner now.

I can vouch for the quality That's a ridiculous thing to sit through. I think he has the best first touch of anyone to ever play for us, and the accuracy and calmness of his finishing is... not normal.

Three. Well Crystal Palace have tried it this summer, let's see how that pans out for them. And to think I had "zero net spend" in the predictions and was too optimistic!

This is literally accurate. We got 0 free kicks in the 2ns half, which you'd think is a bit weird when you're 11 v 10.