Cacofonix the Bard

Please use this much more evocatively titled thread to discuss our new left back from Magyarország. Here is a compilation of him looking excellent. I recommend watching it with the volume turned down.

I have all but two of those qualities, so why not.

Some stupendous saves in there.

No, the dream has died. They frown on new threads here at the best of times. We have one thread that covers 8 years of footy, called "Footy", with 81,600 posts. Starting a duplicate thread might get a man killed.

There was a wonderful opportunity to make that the thread title "Üdvözöljük Miloš Kerkez", Hungarian for "Welcome Milos Kerkez", that is now lost forever. I hope you're happy.

I think that was phillyburkhill/Jack Bauer. From memory his poo had dried into his hairy a*** thatch and created an "ass pube net" (exact quote). And I think the issue was that the ass pube net was getting in the way of him pushing any more poo out so the only solution was to tear it open with a fork. Excellent post, probably the best one ever on this forum.

I hope all these people are still lurking and ready to throw chairs

@Gethin @Swipe It died during the race (or it might have been immediately before it started). It did not does. This reply died not do it justice.

It was amazing. One of the funniest things I've seen on a forum. Hard disagree

I'm all for this passive aggressive takedown of the fish puns. I also suspect some of the chaps delivering the down arrows have probably participated in this regrettable practice in the past. Never mind, all is forgiven. Keep smashing that dislike button and don't forget to subscribe.

What an amazing performance. Imagine seeing a single match compilation like that for a player we'd just signed. You'd be fkn giddy

Do it in Cyrillic IMO. "Добродошао Милош Керкез"?

According to Google translate, the Hungarian for "Welcome Milos Kerkez" is "Üdvözöljük Miloš Kerkez". Can whoever is first in with the new thread please render the title that way? Ta for your service.

Should have done a pharaoh type thing to give it zest

Really interesting to read these descriptions of Hansen. Sounds like he has a legitimate claim to being the best defender seen in Britain for a very, very long time. If you came in later, it's hard to gauge how good these LFC legends were. If he's comparable to Virgil, he must have been unreal. Was especially struck by someone putting him in the Baresi, Maldini etc bracket. You hardly hear about him for any reason now, let alone in discussions about the best ever defenders. I assume Rush is another one who probably gets a raw deal. Based purely on output he should surely be mentioned alongside your Van Basten types? In both cases, it's obviously an outcome of their being from low-profile nations and their peaks having occurred before Sky invented football.

I've been watching a lot of old matches on the Dave Waller Youtube channel. Brilliant channel for becoming familiar with 70s and 80s Liverpool if you were born too late as he's uploaded a boatload of 10-30 minute match highlights from that era. The pitches they were playing on beggar belief now. Absolutely dire. It stands out like dog's balls. The one in that video is actually up there with the better pitches I've seen in the old footage

I think the issue is that some believe that he might have achieved a level of fluency that suggests he has been practicing since long before he claimed he made up his mind... Although I was thinking today that you don't need to have been at it for too long to be able to read a prepared statement

He's a fkn amazing advert for Duolingo

Reward centres going off in your brain like a pinball machine once it hit 100%. Time to shut the door, turn the volume down and watch your new nature documentary

The boss looks very slim and healthy there

You want to ban the sun? Agree about the cannons. I'd also ban muskets and colt revolvers. And actually, Gatling guns can f*** off as well

That second goal, f***ing hell. Absolute beauty. Benayoun had fantastic feet didn't he

f***ing hell, I had my headphones on and everything. Awful business that. My ears are bleeding

Too late to edit but I just had a look at that Ian St John autobiography and it was "Billy" they called him, not Bill, as reflected in that "Red or Dead" passage takanohana just posted above. He might have signed it "Willie" because it was what the public called him. Also, that St John autobiography is a bloody good book everyone should read. The old pros had much better stories than the guys who were around during the later, more professional era

I don't know a f***ing thing about Ekitike but this channel has done an extended breakdown of his game. He's summarised it in the end with a write up that says this: Strengths Ball carrying Electric footwork Competes in the air Trivela passes (he provides a bunch of examples of him doing this well in the video) Vision (for a number 9) Suits any defence Defensive work rate - he seems to be particularly good at this Weaknesses Awkward ball striking Inconsistent in front of goal Can overdo it dribbling-wise Unproven (barely any minutes)