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ferguson's summer blather


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worth keeping a watch on mister ferguson's comments this summer. he seems more bewildered than usual. good take on his recent piffle here:

 

It's Sir Alex to you in Premier League's Upstairs and Downstairs

Man U or Man non-U, City must be made aware of The Rules

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2009/ju...ter-city-united

 

To the gilded corridors of the Premier League, where the etiquette is so rarefied it makes the court of Louis Quatorze look like a free-for-all. This week's lesson in protocol came from Sir Alex Ferguson, who was once again moved to explain the difference between Man U and Man non-U, as Manchester City must henceforth be known.

 

Asked to give his reaction to the City ad campaign picturing Carlos Tevez above the words "Welcome to Manchester", the league's Nancy Mitford obliged. "It's City, isn't it?" he inquired in that clipped Govan drawl. "They are a small club with a small mentality… That arrogance will be rewarded. It is very poor stuff." With the graciousness that only true breeding can confer, the Manchester United manager stopped shy of remarking that the Eastlands parvenus kept their coals in their baths and referred to napkins as serviettes. But confusion was already unleashed.

 

After all, it was only in April that Sir Alex was sneering at those who talked about "small clubs" that you would have thought the expression was almost as ghastly as saying toilet, or "pleased to meet you" instead of "how d'you do?" "Everton are a big club," he declared after some comment by Liverpool boss Rafa Benítez, "not a small one which Benítez arrogantly said."

 

So now the hanky has again been pressed to Ferguson's retroussé nose, it's easy to feel muddled. And with an exciting new season of referee-baiting, "mind games", and the odd bit of football almost upon us, the last thing any of us would wish is to be unclear on The Rules.

 

Because make no mistake, these etiquette breaches can be desperately damaging, despite taking place amongst chaps who are at pains to emphasise their toughness. Think of Sam Allardyce, who last season bleated that he'd found some perceived action of the Liverpool manager's "disrespectful to me and quite humiliating". (Poor darling Big Sam, who on a previously tired-and-emotional occasion explained to me that women know nothing about sport, before embarking on a peroration in which he appeared to be under the impression that Shane Warne bowled off-spin. But as the Big Lebowski opined, strong men also cry. Strong men … also cry.)

 

Then of course there is the recalibration necessitated by City's becoming nouveau riche, as they make previous League arrivistes Chelsea look like a club that hasn't had to buy its own furniture. And of even more pressing concern to those of us who insist on things being done properly are the new teams, those Premier League debutantes being presented at the court of the Big Four, and whose failure to know which knife to use to stab their manager in the back after a disastrous start would be excruciating in the extreme.

 

The solution is clear: the FA must produce a Premier League etiquette guide. Might I suggest a variation of the classic Frost Report sketch on class, which starred John Cleese, Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett – but which might with only a little effort be adapted as an instructional video starring Ferguson, Mark Hughes, and perhaps Burnley's Owen Coyle, wearing respectively the bowler hat, pork pie hat, and cloth cap.

 

Ferguson I look down on him [indicates Hughes] because I am a big club.

 

Hughes I look up to him [Ferguson] because he is a big club; but I look down on him [Coyle].

 

Coyle I know my place. I look up to them both. But I don't look up to him [Hughes] as much as I look up to him [Ferguson], because he has got innate breeding.

 

Ferguson I have got innate breeding, but I have not got as much money as him [Hughes].

 

Hughes I still look up to him [Ferguson] because although I have money, I am vulgar. But I still look down on him [Coyle].

 

Coyle I know my place. I look up to them both; but while I am poor, I am honest, industrious and trustworthy.

 

Hughes We all know our place, but what do we get out of it?

 

Ferguson I get a feeling of superiority over them.

 

Hughes I get a feeling of inferiority from him, [Ferguson], but a feeling of superiority over him [Coyle].

 

Coyle I get a pain in the back of my neck.

 

Well quite. The FA is urged to rush this one out, or face complete social breakdown by Christmas.

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have you just started reading papers or something, Fergie's every utterance has always been reported, some journos take the piss out of him, some dont, hence his numerous fallings out with them or banning them from press conferences, but you wish to think this is all due to benitez's little moan last season and that up till then he was only ever reported in glowing terms etc and no-one dared speak out, every other manager has always loved him, only the brave benitez would dare eh.

 

tsk.

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but you wish to think this is all due to benitez's little moan last season and that up till then he was only ever reported in glowing terms etc and no-one dared speak out, every other manager has always loved him, only the brave benitez would dare eh.

 

tsk.

 

and where exactly did either of the first two posters say that ?

 

Oh, and Ferguson is the biggest hypocrite in the PL.

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the horrible meff is losing it rapidly though. He's contradicting himself more & more & he's reacting to slights where no slights exist...

youve probably posted something similar to that four times a season for the last 15 years or something.]

 

 

keep thinking it macca.

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have you just started reading papers or something, Fergie's every utterance has always been reported, some journos take the piss out of him, some dont, hence his numerous fallings out with them or banning them from press conferences, but you wish to think this is all due to benitez's little moan last season and that up till then he was only ever reported in glowing terms etc and no-one dared speak out, every other manager has always loved him, only the brave benitez would dare eh.

 

tsk.

 

Go on, say it...

 

Beyond the ____

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Dementia is a decline of reasoning, memory, and other mental abilities (the cognitive functions). This decline eventually impairs the ability to carry out everyday activities such as driving; household chores; and even personal care such as bathing, dressing, and feeding (often called activities of daily living, or ADLs).

 

Dementia is most common in elderly people; it used to be called senility and was considered a normal part of aging.

 

We now know that dementia is not a normal part of aging but is caused by a number of underlying medical conditions that can occur in both elderly and younger persons.

 

In some cases, dementia can be reversed with proper medical treatment. In others, it is permanent and usually gets worse over time.

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alcoholic with dementia and yet still manages to win league after league.

just shows how s*** the other managers are in comparison.

 

Yes, and his task is made ever more difficult by annoying referees who pop up and award him a penalty when his side is struggling.

 

The man is clearly a logic-defying hero who succeeds despite obvious handicaps.

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keep telling yourself thats the reason hes won so much macca.

 

Its easier to believe that than to admit hes the best manager with the best team and your beloved just havent cut the mustard in the league for nearly two decades now.

 

 

Its not like you to rise to the bait like this.

 

You know he is the best and so do they. All this demented stuff helps them to forget that Liverpool were pissing the PL untill the day the Spanish waiter staged that staged, backfiring whinge.

 

Oooops, dont mention blowing the league. I did once but I think I got away with it.

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Its not like you to rise to the bait like this.

 

Along with you he's one of the biggest c**** ever to come on this forum. You're two absolute bellends who's combined Old Trafford visits wont even beat a lot of Liverpool supporters on this forum now please f*** off.

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Along with you he's one of the biggest c**** ever to come on this forum. You're two absolute bellends who's combined Old Trafford visits wont even beat a lot of Liverpool supporters on this forum now please f*** off.

The ticking you hear is your life passing you by ...

 

Do you feel you're not taken serious?

That your input is brushed aside?

That you can get no respect

That people may even be laughing behind your back

Does this make you question your self-worth?

Well it should ... because you're worthless!

Now take the case of the new-age cyco

Confident, commanding respect

Taking whatever he wants, from wherever it is

 

I've been thinking, so to speak

Knees are shaking, tired and weak

I've been wondering, who I am

I've been wondering where I am

 

Su casa es mi casa, porque estoy muy loco

 

If you have one, I'll have one too

Not another, the one I took from you!

Add my numbers, add it up

I guess I got it ... give it up!

 

Su casa es mi casa, porque estoy muy loco

 

Now you've had some time to think

Why don't you look in the mirror, tell me what you see

Nah not on the outside, look inside, deep inside

The true ugliness

Not the self-created coloured hair, piercings hanging out everywhere

The stuff you try to cover up and deny

So there's a reason for everything

Now you let the reason out

Rising up, I feel it coming, let 'em know it's time!

 

I'm still wondering, why I am

Coughing up blood, spitting up phlegm

So much anger, hostility

Biting and kicking, inside of me

I'm fully cyco, partly hexed

Makes me wonder, who is next

You need not worry, about what I am

But you better worry, about where I am!

 

Su casa es mi casa

No quieres chingar conmigo

 

The ticking you hear is your life passing you by ...

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Its not like you to rise to the bait like this.

 

You know he is the best and so do they. All this demented stuff helps them to forget that Liverpool were pissing the PL untill the day the Spanish waiter staged that staged, backfiring whinge.

 

Oooops, dont mention blowing the league. I did once but I think I got away with it.

 

displaying your usual gargantuan lack of football knowledge beautifully there. still don't know why you bother. genital electrodes and plastic bag over your head would be quicker and more effective.

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displaying your usual gargantuan lack of football knowledge beautifully there. still don't know why you bother. genital electrodes and plastic bag over your head would be quicker and more effective.

 

 

You mean I lied??

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