Gerrard, Carragher & Torres

[Guest Snorky]

God is sitting there waiting to greet them and asks of Gerrard, "What do you believe in?"

 

Steve replies, "I believe that football is the food and drink of life".

 

God agrees and sits him to his left.

 

God then asks Carra what he believes in.

 

Carra replies, "I believe in courage, honour and passion".

 

God agrees and sits him to his right.

 

God then asks Torres the same question.

 

Torres replies, "I believe you are sitting in my seat".

 

 

I'll get me coat..........

[Cobs]

and yet you're closing other people's threads....

 

sheesh

[Guest Snorky]

and yet you're closing other people's threads....

 

sheesh

 

Miserable sod

[oakie bob]

dont give up the day job lad

[Guest Snorky]

dont give up the day job lad

 

I tried once, but someone let me down

[fyds]

Last time I heard that joke it was Shankly in the Torres role...topical comedy as ever, Kev!

[oakie bob]

I tried once, but someone let me down

 

Ooooooooo get you lol , I think Tom Hicks controls my budget

[Guest Snorky]

Last time I heard that joke it was Shankly in the Torres role...topical comedy as ever, Kev!

 

Jeez, you try and bring light to miserable lives and all you get is criticism, don't know why I bother.

[Guest Snorky]

Ooooooooo get you lol , I think Tom Hicks controls my budget

 

Yeh right

[oakie bob]

Yeh right

 

I'd buy you a pint sunday but I wont be there

[Hassony]

 

Funniest joke I have ever heard in my life

 

[Cobs]

Rafa and the Liverpool team are having a chat in the dressing room before their match against Everton.

 

“Look guys, I know they’re s****..”, explains Rafa, “but we have to play them to keep the FA happy”. “I’ll tell you what..”, pipes up Torres, “You guys go down the pub and I’ll play them on my own, how does that sound?”. “Seems reasonable.”, replies Rafa and the other lads, and with that they all go down the Arkles and start having a few beers.

 

After an hour or so, Gerrard remembers the match and flicks the pub telly onto SSN: Liverpool 1 (Torres 10min), Everton 0 - is the score line. Couple of minutes later they recheck the score and it is Liverpool 2 (Torres 11min), Everton 0 “- Confidently they resume drinking for the next hour until switching back to SSN, the final score reads: Liverpool 2 Everton 1 (Johnson 89min).

 

“WHAT!!”, they exclaim and run back to Anfield where they find Fernando sitting in the dressing room with his head in his hands.

 

“What the *.!$% happened, Nando?”, bellows Rafa. “Sorry lads”, Torres replies, “Bloody ref sent me off in the 12th minute”.

[Guest Snorky]

 

Funniest joke I have ever heard in my life

 

 

That's the spirit

[Hassony]

Rafa and the Liverpool team are having a chat in the dressing room before their match against Everton.

 

"Look guys, I know they're s****..", explains Rafa, "but we have to play them to keep the FA happy". "I'll tell you what..", pipes up Torres, "You guys go down the pub and I'll play them on my own, how does that sound?". "Seems reasonable.", replies Rafa and the other lads, and with that they all go down the Arkles and start having a few beers.

 

After an hour or so, Gerrard remembers the match and flicks the pub telly onto SSN: Liverpool 1 (Torres 10min), Everton 0 - is the score line. Couple of minutes later they recheck the score and it is Liverpool 2 (Torres 11min), Everton 0 "- Confidently they resume drinking for the next hour until switching back to SSN, the final score reads: Liverpool 2 Everton 1 (Johnson 89min).

 

"WHAT!!", they exclaim and run back to Anfield where they find Fernando sitting in the dressing room with his head in his hands.

 

"What the *.!$% happened, Nando?", bellows Rafa. "Sorry lads", Torres replies, "Bloody ref sent me off in the 12th minute".

The Ref clearly had an anti Liverpool agenda

[Knoxy]

Rafa and the Liverpool team are having a chat in the dressing room before their match against Everton.

 

“Look guys, I know they’re s****..”, explains Rafa, “but we have to play them to keep the FA happy”. “I’ll tell you what..”, pipes up Torres, “You guys go down the pub and I’ll play them on my own, how does that sound?”. “Seems reasonable.”, replies Rafa and the other lads, and with that they all go down the Arkles and start having a few beers.

 

After an hour or so, Gerrard remembers the match and flicks the pub telly onto SSN: Liverpool 1 (Torres 10min), Everton 0 - is the score line. Couple of minutes later they recheck the score and it is Liverpool 2 (Torres 11min), Everton 0 “- Confidently they resume drinking for the next hour until switching back to SSN, the final score reads: Liverpool 2 Everton 1 (Johnson 89min).

 

“WHAT!!”, they exclaim and run back to Anfield where they find Fernando sitting in the dressing room with his head in his hands.

 

“What the *.!$% happened, Nando?”, bellows Rafa. “Sorry lads”, Torres replies, “Bloody ref sent me off in the 12th minute”.

 

Tell the one about Owen

[Cobs]

Tell the one about Owen

 

Michael Owen goes up to a girl in a bar and says "How about me taking you back to mine and showing you a good time?"

"You're a little forward", she replies.

[johngibo YPC]

Michael Owen goes up to a girl in a bar and says "How about me taking you back to mine and showing you a good time?"

"You're a little forward", she replies.

 

Now we're talking

[Guy_Incognito]

Michael Owen goes up to a girl in a bar and says "How about me taking you back to mine and showing you a good time?"

"You're a little forward", she replies.

 

[Guest Snorky]

I actually don't get it

[Bigal]

Michael Owen goes up to a girl in a bar and says "How about me taking you back to mine and showing you a good time?"

"You're a little forward", she replies.

 

ace

[Walrus]

I actually don't get it