Guest Snorky Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 God is sitting there waiting to greet them and asks of Gerrard, "What do you believe in?" Steve replies, "I believe that football is the food and drink of life". God agrees and sits him to his left. God then asks Carra what he believes in. Carra replies, "I believe in courage, honour and passion". God agrees and sits him to his right. God then asks Torres the same question. Torres replies, "I believe you are sitting in my seat". I'll get me coat.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobs Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 and yet you're closing other people's threads.... sheesh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snorky Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 and yet you're closing other people's threads.... sheesh Miserable sod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oakie bob Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 dont give up the day job lad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snorky Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 dont give up the day job lad I tried once, but someone let me down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fyds Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Last time I heard that joke it was Shankly in the Torres role...topical comedy as ever, Kev! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oakie bob Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 I tried once, but someone let me down Ooooooooo get you lol , I think Tom Hicks controls my budget Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snorky Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Last time I heard that joke it was Shankly in the Torres role...topical comedy as ever, Kev! Jeez, you try and bring light to miserable lives and all you get is criticism, don't know why I bother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snorky Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Ooooooooo get you lol , I think Tom Hicks controls my budget Yeh right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oakie bob Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Yeh right I'd buy you a pint sunday but I wont be there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassony Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Funniest joke I have ever heard in my life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobs Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Rafa and the Liverpool team are having a chat in the dressing room before their match against Everton. “Look guys, I know they’re s****..”, explains Rafa, “but we have to play them to keep the FA happy”. “I’ll tell you what..”, pipes up Torres, “You guys go down the pub and I’ll play them on my own, how does that sound?”. “Seems reasonable.”, replies Rafa and the other lads, and with that they all go down the Arkles and start having a few beers. After an hour or so, Gerrard remembers the match and flicks the pub telly onto SSN: Liverpool 1 (Torres 10min), Everton 0 - is the score line. Couple of minutes later they recheck the score and it is Liverpool 2 (Torres 11min), Everton 0 “- Confidently they resume drinking for the next hour until switching back to SSN, the final score reads: Liverpool 2 Everton 1 (Johnson 89min). “WHAT!!”, they exclaim and run back to Anfield where they find Fernando sitting in the dressing room with his head in his hands. “What the *.!$% happened, Nando?”, bellows Rafa. “Sorry lads”, Torres replies, “Bloody ref sent me off in the 12th minute”. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snorky Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Funniest joke I have ever heard in my life That's the spirit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassony Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Rafa and the Liverpool team are having a chat in the dressing room before their match against Everton. "Look guys, I know they're s****..", explains Rafa, "but we have to play them to keep the FA happy". "I'll tell you what..", pipes up Torres, "You guys go down the pub and I'll play them on my own, how does that sound?". "Seems reasonable.", replies Rafa and the other lads, and with that they all go down the Arkles and start having a few beers. After an hour or so, Gerrard remembers the match and flicks the pub telly onto SSN: Liverpool 1 (Torres 10min), Everton 0 - is the score line. Couple of minutes later they recheck the score and it is Liverpool 2 (Torres 11min), Everton 0 "- Confidently they resume drinking for the next hour until switching back to SSN, the final score reads: Liverpool 2 Everton 1 (Johnson 89min). "WHAT!!", they exclaim and run back to Anfield where they find Fernando sitting in the dressing room with his head in his hands. "What the *.!$% happened, Nando?", bellows Rafa. "Sorry lads", Torres replies, "Bloody ref sent me off in the 12th minute".The Ref clearly had an anti Liverpool agenda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knoxy Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Rafa and the Liverpool team are having a chat in the dressing room before their match against Everton. “Look guys, I know they’re s****..”, explains Rafa, “but we have to play them to keep the FA happy”. “I’ll tell you what..”, pipes up Torres, “You guys go down the pub and I’ll play them on my own, how does that sound?”. “Seems reasonable.”, replies Rafa and the other lads, and with that they all go down the Arkles and start having a few beers. After an hour or so, Gerrard remembers the match and flicks the pub telly onto SSN: Liverpool 1 (Torres 10min), Everton 0 - is the score line. Couple of minutes later they recheck the score and it is Liverpool 2 (Torres 11min), Everton 0 “- Confidently they resume drinking for the next hour until switching back to SSN, the final score reads: Liverpool 2 Everton 1 (Johnson 89min). “WHAT!!”, they exclaim and run back to Anfield where they find Fernando sitting in the dressing room with his head in his hands. “What the *.!$% happened, Nando?”, bellows Rafa. “Sorry lads”, Torres replies, “Bloody ref sent me off in the 12th minute”. Tell the one about Owen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobs Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Tell the one about Owen Michael Owen goes up to a girl in a bar and says "How about me taking you back to mine and showing you a good time?""You're a little forward", she replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johngibo YPC Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Michael Owen goes up to a girl in a bar and says "How about me taking you back to mine and showing you a good time?""You're a little forward", she replies. Now we're talking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy_Incognito Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Michael Owen goes up to a girl in a bar and says "How about me taking you back to mine and showing you a good time?""You're a little forward", she replies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snorky Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 I actually don't get it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigal Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 Michael Owen goes up to a girl in a bar and says "How about me taking you back to mine and showing you a good time?""You're a little forward", she replies. ace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walrus Posted April 11, 2008 Share Posted April 11, 2008 I actually don't get it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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