Cinemas

Stanley Leisure · July 19, 2007

If you're going to pay £8 to enjoy a night of cinema, why the f*ck do you think its ok to chat at normal f*cking volume throughout, you ignorant *rsehole? This is rapidly becoming my major bug bear in life as i go to the cinema quite a lot - so much so i am beginning to spot trends - These c*nts can be broken down into two groups.

Out and out horrible, gelled hair, McKenzie top wearing, pikey impregnating, mannerless Darrens, whose presence in a cinema is just baffling given the lack of other culture in their lives. They sit at the back chomping down tacos and crisps, kicking the back of your chair everytime they check their mobile phone, which normally contains 7 different eminem ringtones and 4 videos of lads kicking goths to within an inch of their lives. Female versions of these c*nts can be much worse, braying and shrieking inbetween mouthfuls of minstrels.

Then there's the Colin Hunt types who sit and emote anything thats happening in the film through the medium of sheer f***wittery. Ooing and Aaing, sniggering at unfunny jokes and asking their dates "did you see that?". Not only this but when figure something out in the plot, they take great pride in turning to their wives or girlfriends and explaining to them, at full volume, what just happened - as if they weren't bored by his presence enough. Word of warning to these types - this kind of bizarre geek peacocking won't boost your already slim chances of her not leaving you.

Bear that in mind next time you decide to sit next to me and thoroughly f*cking ruin what was otherwise a nice evening out with the missus.

Knox_Harrington · July 19, 2007

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