Paul B

Conclusive proof that he must have been rubbish and I am wrong in my estimation of him.

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Real MAdrid certainly thought so AND he won two Champions League titles with them.

I love the one (nicked unashamedly from RAWK this BTW!) where there's a guy in the crowd who yells, "I've farted! I've farted Liverpool!" Everyone looks at him like he's wierd and he feels he has to explain. "Well, they're not trying are they?" Ah, half-hearted!

Another good one I remember was from years ago but at Goodison. Stan Bowles' marriage had ran into some trouble but as far as I am aware, he was entirely innocent. He was featured in a certain "newspaper" with his arms round a page 3 model (this was in about 1978 or something) and they were both shirtless. Bowles's wife was actually from Liverpool and the paper featured a poorly-timed story on the morning of QPR's visit to Woodison the headline of which was "He never holds me that way" and it was his wife complaining and running back home to her parents in Liverpool. Cue the witty Scouse repartee..."Stanley, Stanley, where's yer wife, Stanley, where's yer wife?"

Fantastic that. My mate's a big Man City fan and on the morning of their derby this season, he rang to ask my opinion. His lad's five and he was starting to get into football. Rick asked me seriously if he should take him. He said he knew that if he went that day, that would be it, he'd be tied to City all his life like Rick and his father before him. The pain of being a City fan and the money he's spent following the team haunted him. Relationships ended because City came first, jobs lost, financial problems at times...did he want to subject Harvey to that for life? We were kicking off at Anfield when he rang me and told me that City's magnificent victory over the old enemy PROVED he'd done the right thing and I could hear little Harvey in the background giving it "Blue Moon" like there was no tomorrow! Fantastic, I thought!

McManaman for me. But I am not one of those who would ever slag Garcia off as he has qualities I really admire such as mental and physical toughness and a clear desire to play through any pain that comes his way. I wish other players showed that same determination. No name, no pack drill, eh, cobber?

Took our Liam to his first game when he was five. He told me he wanted to leave at half time! I thought I'd blown it and taken him too early! Some chance. He loves going even more than I do and as my mother used to say, "your father will never be dead while you're alive."

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Good, you need someone sensible to look after you.

Years ago we were playing Forest and Peter Shilton, as ever, was in goal. Shilton was custodian (oooh, get him) of the England number 1 jersey at the time but we'd given Joe Corrigan some serious support the previous week (he later said he'd never got that much support from his own City fans) when he was in front of us at the Kop end. Anyway, talk about manna from heaven; the previous week, Shilton had been caught shagging some tart called Tina and it was all over the papers. "oops upside your head" became, "Who's up Tina's ass, I said who's up Tina's ass?" The old Ian Dury number became, "Had a love affiar with Tina, in the back of my Cortina, a seasoned up hyena, could not have been more obscener". Oh, hapy happy days.

I know this isn't exactly toeing the party line but I agree with him on the issue of the Sun. I no longer boycott it because of Hillsborough, after all, Anthony Walker's own mother forgave her son's killers within days of his awful murder. Against that example, I cannot find hate in my heart for this rag as no-one is still there who made those ill-advised decisions at the time. You may as well still hate the Daily Mail due to its pro-nazi stance during the second world war. I only boycott the Sun because it is an abomination to the world and I wouldn't dirty my hands with it.

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WE SHUD START AN CAMPAIN. PHIL IS GREATE.

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