goodrobotusses

I have an inkling that Mourinho will keep him. If his head's back on properly, I can see a rehabilitated Adriano being their Drogba (which he was before he fell apart). Just depends on whether he's fully on the wagon, I guess. If not, he'll be sent packing a la Mutu.

I can't see Mourinho wanting Quaresma really. Doesn't strike me as his sort of player - bit too much of a Fancy Dan, not much of a team player in terms of work ethic. Maybe he fancies another Joe Cole-style challenge. Either that, or Mourinho isn't the one behind the move, which is pretty likely (should it happen). In terms of our supposed interest (likewise, he doesn't strike me as a Rafa player, mentality-wise), I agree with Maldini. I'd rather him than a Riera/Milner type. As much of an infuriating fanny Quaresma would no doubt be, at least he's capable of doing something out of the ordinary. Still, not convinced by him - not a jot.

Ah, but he plays as a left wing-back for Udinese! We're doomed!

It is pretty impressive how fat Rafa has gotten since his Valencia days... More to love, as they say.

I dunno, hiring an unqualified guy to run a professional football club simply because he's your mate seems pretty sentimental to me. Bye, Avram, you were less of a c*** than Mourinho, but you were a dour, boring b*****d with a terrifying face. Back to shmoozing your way into jobs - run along now.

I started watching football properly the season after we last won the title. Though I remember the first match I watched properly was us losing to Crystal Palace 4-3 in the FA Cup semi-final the season before. Then I watched the whole of Italia 90 and completely fell in love with the game. My mother had raised me as a Liverpool fan (a bunch of OOTs though, she's originally from Widnes and I grew up in North Wales), but it wasn't until 90-91 that I watched us play regularly (albeit on tv). So for years I often felt like it was my fault that we stopped winning the league - possibly explaining why I'm so desperate for us to do so, as if to lift my personal curse. I'm 25, BTW.

I reckon Spurs' physical trainer just wanted another fat lad to stick on a diet, especially with Robinson leaving, and possibly Huddlestone too.

Think that was the thing was Torres' wages at Atleti. He was on about the same nominal wage as he is here (£90,000 approx), but he received his tax free in Spain.

Aye. It's gonna wreck their net spend.

Oh man, that's almost as good as my Go Ahead Eagles B.

Have to say Lawro was actually pretty entertaining last night, if only because he did next to nothing to hide his disdain for such a meaningless game. Everytime Motson started getting into one of his frenzies and trying to make things seem more interesting than they actually were, Lawro would just mutter something along the lines of "great" as sarcastically as possible.

All set.

That's a bloody brilliant article.

Nope. And I wouldn't touch Saviola either.

...and the Lord looked upon his work and saw that it was good.

I wasn't even talking about tapping up. I'm not interested in Fergie and his history of tapping up players - that's already well-established. I was talking about Calderon inferring that Ronaldo would be little more than a slave if he weren't allowed to leave United. Given Madrid spent many years as a flagship of Franco's regime, forcing Di Stefano to join them ahead of Barcelona whom he'd already played a friendly for, and thus breaking Barcelona's hold on the Spanish championship and ushering in Madrid's first period of dominance... Well, you can kinda see why the slavery comment was a bit iffy.

Joaquin on the right, Reyes on the left - two of the biggest underachieving fannies in world football right there.

Fair play to him for saying it. God knows what Calderon was babbling on about with that slavery comment.

RE: France. They should play Benzema ahead of Henry, Anelka, et al. They won't though.

Pauleta is/was a really weird player - great goals record for his clubs and with Portugal in qualifying for tournaments/friendlies, but as soon as he'd reach a major finals... nothing. Maybe he just only ever scored against s***e teams. Definitely one to be filed in the Inzaghi bracket of having more of a goalscoring instinct than any actual footballing talent.

I got a United supporting mate whose dad is selling his season ticket. Can have a word if you're interested.

Ha! Brilliant.

Wow, how very nu-metal. I always imagined Fred Durst would be a United fan.

No I wouldn't personally, but Elisha Scott (poster 'in the know', so to speak) said he's a potential target, presumably to replace the departing Pennant.

It wouldn't surprise me if the English football press couldn't differentiate between two Italian clubs that wear black and white. Not that those clubs' Sporting Directors would wear black and white striped suits... unless they were Beetlejuice. That would be cool though.