Bailo

I'd be able to make it look good, due to my athletic physique, 1% body fat and skeletal muscle mass in the 99th percentile

Fair enough. Very funny seeing Newcastle fans lose their heads about Isak/Etikite comparisons. "Looool a striker comparison without goals on looooooool"

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Who is Ben Jacobs and has he ever been right about anything before?

Interesting. I think it's this summer or not at all and I think this summer is now extremely unlikely

Rodrygo and Guehi then. I'm most worried about Guehi of all our signings.

Interesting, how come? His stats suggest he's basically Isak but younger (with the positives and negatives that brings) and cheaper.

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https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/articles/c994dnn013ro Don't know of any other club that gets this kind of write-up for an 18yr old making his debut

Be good to get the Diaz situation sorted soon.

Sorry, hit post before it was done #keepdarwinstheoryofnaturalselectionasthecentrepointofevolutiontopicswithintheschoolcurriculum

#keepdarwin

Gyokeres had a few seasons in the lower leagues here and didn't do much. He's only really exploded in the last couple of seasons and is 27. I'm comfortable with paying more for Ekitike.

Yeah I'm waaaaaay out at £150m for Isak

They want to sell don't they?

BREAKING || Alexander Isak set for Liverpool move after describing pease pudding as "disgusting s***e I wouldn't feed to my cat". Player said to be "fuming" after discovering it contains only yellow peas. Talks ongoing. @alexcrooks1

I'm afraid we can't sign Isak at this stage, the karma gods would make him do his ACL in the game against Newcastle

Battered chips? God help the NHS

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NEW || Sources say Liverpool forum YNWA happy to let surf leave, if he wants, by shutting down Web browser whenever he fancies. [@bailo]

He just repeats stuff he's read online and posts vague speculation as fact. Murphy/Ferdinand/Jenas level of comment and analysis

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Chelsea are the Saudis

In the climate of City's charges still being unrevealed and other clubs trying desperately to keep within PSR, if Newcastle/PIF took the piss like that there'd definitely be absolute uproar. Mokbel knows absolutely nothing, his little thing about Isak is just him musing that we'd surely still be interested, right? Absolute fraud him, no idea how these people get jobs with that level of exposure.