The Gardening Thread

[Bailo]

I'm going to have to move my raised beds. They are struggling in the spot I put them - they just need more and longer direct sun. Problem is that I am going to have to give up a bit of lawn to accommodate them - which is fine by me but will take some concerted persuasion as far as Mrs.C is concerned....

I've got the exact same problem.....pain the a*** as well as we've just redesigned the garden with them in their existing spot, which is way too shady. Don't know what I was thinking.

[Falconhoof]

You and your f***ing beetroots

Who are you and what do you want ?

[Gethin]

You and your f***ing beetroots

 

They're f***ing lovely. So f*** off you f***ing prick

 

Edited July 5, 2018 by Gethin

[Falconhoof]

Fair enough, that’s the best beetroot photo I’ve ever seen. Nailed that Gethin lad

[Gethin]

Bask in my beetrooty radiance. 

 

Or something. 

[Molby]

Fair enough, that’s the best beetroot photo I’ve ever seen. Nailed that Gethin lad

 

Yeah smashed it there la Gethin you beetroot-photoshopping c***

[Case]

My word. Beat-Root.

[Murphman]

Our garage is down, the footings have been dug out with a machine, and after a quick phone call out came the building inspector, We have a Weeping Willow around 10 metres from the footing, we are putting in an extra soak away to stop the garden flooding in the winter, we also have a small stream going through our entire plot, this next bit is crucial. Next to the stream we have had to dig down 2m to expose a sewer pipe to which the new bathroom is being connected.

 

 

So in summary, there is a bomb crater in a direct line between the footing and the tree, there is also a stream next to the crater and we can almost see Downunder's house the view is so deep and clear. There are no f*cking roots in sight, they've stayed to the South of the stream edging as can clearly been seen, not a chance, the tree has any impact on the moisture levels in the ground around the footing , everybody agrees

 

Apparently a mature Weeping Willow can achieve 16m, ours is years old and is around  9m, however the rules state the inspector works off  guidelines of 1.25 x the median which is around 13m,  so in summary...

 

The footing must be at least 20m from the tree, regardless of other factors, OR, the footing must be dug out a further 1.2m, which is horrifically expensive, totally unnecessary and unrealistic, it simply isn't going to happen. Despite the inspector agreeing with us this is a farce. I now have to take down a beautiful mature Weeping Willow. The inspector totally agrees it's a tragedy and not even remotely needed but he won't contradict the NHBC handbook guidelines even if we acknowledge his advice. So in summary, the gardening thread is sh*t and so is gardening.

[Bailo]

Yeah smashed it there la Gethin you beetroot-photoshopping c***

You've learnt nothing from your time away have you?

 

Like a YNWA Charles Bronson, just lacking his style.

[Murphman]

and so it begins....

[Molby]

and so it begins....

 

I really don’t know why he keeps yapping at my heels like a little dog

[Gethin]

I really don’t know why he keeps yapping at my heels like a little dog

 

Dunno, maybe if you stopped trying to make every thread about you it might help....

[Molby]

Our garage is down, the footings have been dug out with a machine, and after a quick phone call out came the building inspector, We have a Weeping Willow around 10 metres from the footing, we are putting in an extra soak away to stop the garden flooding in the winter, we also have a small stream going through our entire plot, this next bit is crucial. Next to the stream we have had to dig down 2m to expose a sewer pipe to which the new bathroom is being connected.

 

 

So in summary, there is a bomb crater in a direct line between the footing and the tree, there is also a stream next to the crater and we can almost see Downunder's house the view is so deep and clear. There are no f*cking roots in sight, they've stayed to the South of the stream edging as can clearly been seen, not a chance, the tree has any impact on the moisture levels in the ground around the footing , everybody agrees

 

Apparently a mature Weeping Willow can achieve 16m, ours is years old and is around 9m, however the rules state the inspector works off guidelines of 1.25 x the median which is around 13m, so in summary...

 

The footing must be at least 20m from the tree, regardless of other factors, OR, the footing must be dug out a further 1.2m, which is horrifically expensive, totally unnecessary and unrealistic, it simply isn't going to happen. Despite the inspector agreeing with us this is a farce. I now have to take down a beautiful mature Weeping Willow. The inspector totally agrees it's a tragedy and not even remotely needed but he won't contradict the NHBC handbook guidelines even if we acknowledge his advice. So in summary, the gardening thread is sh*t and so is gardening.

That’s dreadful

 

the bloated public sector strikes again

And a poor weeping willow gets sacrificed - my favourite tree

[Molby]

Dunno, maybe if you stopped trying to make every thread about you it might help....

What by commenting on beetroot ?

Where I come from that’s a compliment

 

It’s like saying “I know you Gethin; there you are, you like beetroot and I remembered”

 

Not sure that warrants some creepy internet guy (CIG) getting on my case

[charlie clown]

I've got the exact same problem.....pain the a*** as well as we've just redesigned the garden with them in their existing spot, which is way too shady. Don't know what I was thinking.

 

I'm quite looking forward to the project because it will mean planting a hedge around that area to hive it off from the lawn so the whole place will take on a completely different look as a result - and I love planting hedges. I've done three in the last couple of years, I'd do it for a living if I could. 

 

Not looking forward to shifting the tonne+ of soil in the beds though.

 

And I think I've found the solution for selling the move to the missus. She's wistfully mentioned the lack of a summer house in the garden a few times over the last few times and I've just ignored her cause we had nowhere to site one, but the place where the raided beds are currently would be ideal.

[Murphman]

Dunno, maybe if you stopped trying to make every thread about you it might help....

 

He was having a little joke and Bailo waded in probably a minute after he awoke as per, lighten up....

[Molby]

C C How will you shift the ton of soil and where will it go?

Edited July 6, 2018 by Molby

[Gethin]

He was having a little joke and Bailo waded in probably a minute after he awoke as per, lighten up....

 

If you take this thread in isolation you've got a point. But across the whole forum it's bloody boring. 

[Molby]

If you take this thread in isolation you've got a point. But across the whole forum it's bloody boring.

You wouldn’t have this thread if it weren’t for me

[Behind Enemy Lines]

I'm quite looking forward to the project because it will mean planting a hedge around that area to hive it off from the lawn so the whole place will take on a completely different look as a result - and I love planting hedges. I've done three in the last couple of years, I'd do it for a living if I could. 

 

Not looking forward to shifting the tonne+ of soil in the beds though.

 

And I think I've found the solution for selling the move to the missus. She's wistfully mentioned the lack of a summer house in the garden a few times over the last few times and I've just ignored her cause we had nowhere to site one, but the place where the raided beds are currently would be ideal.

I think you can almost make Mrs Clown think that moving the beds is her idea 

[Bailo]

I thought it was more a witty aside, a familiar punch on the shoulder welcome with the clear subtext of "step out of line again and you're for the fishes". No wading here.

[charlie clown]

C C How will you shift the ton of soil and where will it go?

 

By wheelbarrow and from the current location of the raised beds to the new location of the raised beds - its about 25-30 yards.

I think you can almost make Mrs Clown think that moving the beds is her idea 

 

I'm liking your sinister line of thought.

[Murphman]

I thought it was more a witty aside, a familiar punch on the shoulder welcome with the clear subtext of "step out of line again and you're for the fishes". No wading here.

 

You have a dodgy understanding of who says what to whom on here, it's not your call that, and witty it most certainly wasn't.

You wouldn’t have this thread if it weren’t for me

 

[Molby]

I thought it was more a witty aside, a familiar punch on the shoulder welcome with the clear subtext of "step out of line again and you're for the fishes". No wading here.

Ha, look at this chump strutting around

All puffed up like a rooster

[Bailo]

You have a dodgy understanding of who says what to whom on here, it's not your call that, and witty it most certainly wasn't.

 

 

What, there's a hierarchy of who's untouchable? f*** off Murph.

 

Good look though, wading in defending the honour of the guy suspended for racism.