smithdown

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Any professional must surely have been saying ‘they have no legs!’ for six months now. Witness every side we play taking over for the last half hour.

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World Cup winner Christophe Dugarry expects a massacre at the Parc des Princes from PSG in their Champions League quarter-final when they take on Liverpool : “It’s going to be a walk in the park, honestly. Liverpool are disastrous. 14 wins, 10 losses, and 7 draws since the start of the season in the league. They’re catastrophic. I’m not going to say they have bad players, but they don’t play together. In my opinion, the difference in level is colossal. I think PSG will wrap up the quarter-final in the first leg. Have you seen Liverpool play? They’re catastrophic! They have no legs; they have nothing. Technically they have good players; they’re not clumsy, but they play at a snail’s pace. When you see the intensity PSG manages to bring, with their legs back, with their mental strength and everything else they’ve regained… There’s no comparison between the two teams. It’s going to be a massacre!”

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I haven’t got over the fact that we came back to training as champions with hundreds of millions on new players and a brand new team of top coaches and what did we do? ‘Lads lads lads, quieten down now, what we will do this week is find out who has got the longest throw! No one in the league will expect us to throw it long towards Van Dijk. They’ll go to pieces and we will win every game by like four nil hahaha right who goes first? Isak?’

Half arsed is half arsed. Look at the kick off ffs. Welly it one lad as far as you can into the corner. We don’t want the f***ing thing. One of theirs might fall on his face and give us an open goal or something. Relentlessly lazy.

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They go hand in hand at this level though don’t they? If you arent supercharged and fit then it’s either play for nil nils and get rapidly relegated. This Isak nonsense shows Slot’s standards. The lad literally was doing couch to a lap of the pitch before our eyes for weeks and weeks on end and as for the fitness of other new players such as Wirtz and Ekiteke, they’re goosed before half time.

Is the only thing that makes sense. They look like they haven’t got stuck in for eighteen months. They still had it in them for six but it’s long gone now.

Gosh We were alright with non internationals playing for us then.

Haaland came deep at one point and feckin dribbled the length of the pitch past them all.

Do what you used to do except the players have changed and it was a couple of years ago now. That’s the evidence. We have watched enough football to be able to say ‘we aren’t running as fast as them to me yano and that lad is coming off again looking knackered yet he hasn’t done anything, him and him, and the sub doesn’t even look like fresh legs does he?’

Only to have something to throw at his head.

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Saying nothing.

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Doesn’t he f***ing just.

Can you imagine how badly the other teams will have to play for us to win it presumably with a long throw? After what we saw on Saturday it’s an insult to the competition to talk about what if we win it. We would need about eleven red cards to be shown.

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He is seriously unarsed now. If they announce something like that, he will show up off his t*** and turn the touchline into a silent disco.