DanielS

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That's part of the FA's new crackdown. Used to just earn you a knowing nod from Alan "Kick 'em in the 'ed" Shearer.

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I doubt AW's office would have been open for drinking then.

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More good news is that we only have to lose our next match before a run of 3 consecutive home games. I hope Southgate appreciates the boost to his position we'll be offering him by pathetically collapsing to yet another away defeat.

Very true. Don't think anybody would dispute that. Henry only got a stern frown though. As far as I am aware after five stern frowns in consecutive games don't you get a sad shake of the head?

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We're under instructions to be f***ing rubbish. Nothing else can explain the lack of effort, heart and drive. I've seen more intensity from a wet lettuce.

Is your team feeling low? Need a home win to boost confidence? Fancy a decent run out against opponents prepared to just make up the numbers? If you answered yes to any of those questions then you need to phone Liverpool Football Club. We're available at knock down rates to be the sacrificial lamb at your party. We'll bend over and take it up the ass without offering even the slighest sign of resistance. We not only lack pride in our performances, we'll restore yours. Our state of the art training methods have created a team of players that will go to every extreme to make your team look brilliant. Almost no effort needed from your side and a definite guarantee that we will not make even a semblance of an attempt to make a game of it. Call now - you too can get that all over buzz only the Benitez flops of Liverpool FC can give.

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