Is your team feeling low? Need a home win to boost confidence? Fancy a decent run out against opponents prepared to just make up the numbers? If you answered yes to any of those questions then you need to phone Liverpool Football Club. We're available at knock down rates to be the sacrificial lamb at your party. We'll bend over and take it up the ass without offering even the slighest sign of resistance. We not only lack pride in our performances, we'll restore yours. Our state of the art training methods have created a team of players that will go to every extreme to make your team look brilliant. Almost no effort needed from your side and a definite guarantee that we will not make even a semblance of an attempt to make a game of it. Call now - you too can get that all over buzz only the Benitez flops of Liverpool FC can give.