Paul B

Here's my story of Sheringham actually being a c***. We used to have our season tickets in row 4 of the Paddock. Too low down to get a decent overview of the game, you at least had the benefit of a) having a season ticket. b) It enabled you to get close to the players on that side of the pitch and c) I got some cracking photographs during that time. Anyway, the 2-2 V United when Irwin got sent off and we thought we'd cost them the league. Remember it? Well towards the end, Sheringham as a sub was warming up in front of us and proceeded to stand right in our way. We were just about high enough for it not to bother us but on the front row there is where the disabled fans sit and he was definitely obscuring their view. Any other player who this had been pointed out to ran up and down thereby minimising the time they spent in front of any individual section. Sheringham however delighted in standing stock-still for at least two minutes even when the carers of some of the disabled had politely asked him to show some consideration. To be fair, he was responding to some more abusive shouts but the arrogant look on his face when he sneered at us in the crowd made him look a right knob-head and caused some on the front two rows to miss some good end-of-game action. The end result was that everyone in that section just increased their hatred towards him for being a tosser. Tosser.

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You were doing so well up to that point.....

What's it about?

"Easy, easy, easy easy."

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And this is where the story loses all credibility.

I've been to every one of our games at Cardiff and I have to say, West ham were the best team and gave us the best game and definitely had the best fans we've yet had there. They were great before, during and especially afterwards and really are a credit to their club and the West Ham heritage. Of course, we all know the emotions we all went through during the game but the few gripes I have are; the fat moron in the grounds of the castle bar-if you don't like people playing football outside, drink somewhere else you miserable get. The subdued nature of our fans compared to previous occasions-I'm sure this was due to ticket allocation. Everyone I spoke to had stories of neutrals sat next to/near them. I sat next to five lads on the train down who were all neutral but have been to every FA cup final in the last eight years! they get tickets from Wiltshire FA! The seat next but one to me was empty and there were two lads on my left who didn't move all game and left with ten minutes of normal time remaining! Then you think of the thousands desperate for tickets and think "this can't be right." Some people in front of us looked at us like we were mad when we dared to celebrate each of our goals. Incredibly, my near neighbour sat right next to me and the woman in front of him spoke to a steward about him! He'd only done what normal people do when their team score. And lastly, the train station for the journey home was a joke. It's a good job the vast, vast majority of Hammers fans were great, patient people or there could have been real trouble. The only trouble we saw were (the fat miserable get in the castle grounds apart) Cardiff fans and pissed-up, stupid g******* west-country bumpkins thinking we'd be impressed at their songs of hatred towards Plymouth Argyle! Mental!

The rain, it falleth on the just And also on the unjust feller But chiefly on the just because The unjust stole the just's umbrella.

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No idea mate. We got ours through our seasies and having been to four FA cup games this season. The other two that arrived came to us not via the club but these nefarious "other" sources. Legal sources I hasten to add.

Does this mean it'll be an indoor game?

Two out of our gang of four were going with us but without tickets and then two tickets turned up for them free of charge* (no, seriously!) from a most unusual place! We had to tell them, "yes, Cinders, you WILL be going to the ball." Don't give up hope, a ticket might magically materialise. * A serious legitimate source. A slightly disturbing one under the circumstances but all above board and we can all be grateful they've gone to two passionate reds meaning there'll be two suits fewer in the ground and two more real fans.

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Isn't it funny how you never see them in the same room together? No wonder Moro can do nowt for us, he's been moonlighting for City and is probably knackered due to Psycho's training regime.

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