elmer dinkley

Did nothing wrong in the Summer for me. Maybe these people who feel qualified to judge players should think about how they'd come across if every comment they made when they were young was printed and analysed to death.

I've heard he cuts the oranges at half-time.

The only real measure of a footballer is whether or not he's got a cut-out mask... Download a football mask

Ferdinand's sh*te, but Agger hasn't played enough to be compared to him yet? Rafa: "Keep this up son, and one day you'll be as sh*t as Rio Ferdinand." Agger: "Oooh thanks boss."

Option 1: Watch player. Sign player. Observe in training and matches. If player is deemed unsuitable, sell immediately, ideally for the same amount as initial investment. Watch next player. Option 2: Sign player based on youtube video. Insist player signs lucrative long-term contract. Change system to accommodate player. If player is deemed unsuitable, loan to other clubs while continuing to pay their wages. Watch next youtube video. Not hard is it?

Because no one wants to see a Wayne Rooney/Gary Lineker duet.

Daniel Agger is Alan Hansen with a shot.

Nice to see a 'just back from the match' thread again, like seeing an old friend.

I read that and my first thought was, eh, never seen us win the league? WTF? But then I remembered I'm an old b*****d and it's really been that long. There's lads who've been watching for years and they've never seen us win the title. WHEN Rafa wins it, you'll have a ball the next year winding everyone else up about being champions, and you'll wanna experience that again and again. You won't enjoy it less, it's just different.

It wasn't a dive. Look what Neil does with his right hand as he goes past him...

That's easy for you to say. Didi, hoofen harfen hofen hooven, donkee unt ashtoobleef kidda la.

You've embiggened yourself with that cromulent post.

Great advert. Adidas should be commended for making it so realistic, Beckenbauer looks like he's really there and Cisse throws a tantrum at the kid's ma for calling him in for his tea.

He looks like he had a tw*t of a paper round as a kid.

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He made a career out of doing Bill Hicks impressions.

I stopped going after Hillsborough, that was my last game for nearly two years. I was disgusted with the club for playing the cup final, I wanted us to walk away, just didn't have any time for football then. When the club said, 'we'll play because it's what the fans would've wanted", I realised they were only interested in making money. I actually hated the club for a while, like having a bird who betrays you so you start hating her with the same passion you once loved her. Time passed and in the end I came back. But I'm under no illusions about what the club is about, they wanted to forget Hillsborough as soon as it happened. It's bad for business. Personally, I think the day we play on April 15th will be a sad day for the club. I was hoping the fans would make such a noise that they'd change it. But when I read posts describing not playing as 'an empty gesture of remembrance', well, it was never gonna happen.

If the article from the Mirror is true and it's a severe tear and a hole in his retina, how can he possibly play again and risk doing more damage. But the other article says it's bruising so maybe the Mirror are just full of sh*t.

I went to Goodison and Old Trafford in the eighties and dodged coins, s***, piss, all kinds would get thrown from the home fans above us. I've seen some bad things but I don't ever recall an ambulance getting attacked. It's f***ing embarrassing.

Ah so we're signing a German. Is it Ballack?

Something else I've noticed... The nonspatial continuum in which events occur (more commonly referred to as time) and the ratio between the condition of being apart in space (also known as distance), invested by Sissoko is particularly impressive. Hang on, that just means he runs a lot.

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Me too, I thought their defence will be pushing up, he'll cause havoc with his pace and this game will be over by half-time.

Damn shame as I really wanted him to do well with us but he's gotta go. 14 mill for a guy who's second touch is a throw in?

Sack Parry! Just to be safe.