Rusty Shackleford

We have to hand it to the universe. It took a really good bunch of mentally and physically drained footballers and paired it with a manager who plays boring, slow, generally s*** football. Voila. A perfect balance for a monent in time. The end result was a league title looking more miraculous by the week. It’s the footballing equivalent of discovering penicillin by accident.

This has really annoyed me. I spent this morning talking to my son about double negatives. I can’t get no sleep.

I’m not convinced he’s not utterly crap. It is a staggering drop off results wise but the performances are worse. It seems quite possible that he lucked out with a good squad and seemed to stumble quite fortunately into whatever hybrid style that was last season. But the more Slot this team becomes the worse it gets. He deserves the chance to work with these players to show us the truth of it all but you can’t be losing every league game.

He’s proving plenty. The longer he’s been here the worse we’ve got. He does my head in.

Our normal game is very much being a goal down in five minutes.

We were s*** for months last season. And got results in spite of performances throughout the majority of it. The longer he’s spent with the team, the s***ter we’ve become. The more he’s tried to bring his own players in, the s***ter we’ve become. How he’s looked at PSG as the benchmark and come up with whatever this is, is anyone’s guess.

Not sure he’ll see out his contract to be honest.

Loads of the new lads are on a hiding to nothing. You’d think any one of them would have looked better coming into a settled side changing one or two. As it is we’ve lost two crucial attacking players in Diaz and Trent, have Mac and Konate playing abysmally and Salah is not even in games. Considering the football has been s*** for most of the year it’s not really outrageous to wonder if Slot is guaranteed to bring them back together as a really top side now.

He’s doing a great job of looking like a Chelsea manager under Roman Abramovich. Comes in and wins surprisingly quickly. Then goes to s***.

Doesn’t help when one side give you the chance to break into space quickly and we move the ball slower than I run in my dreams.

In my best American accent: “I believe that we won’t win”.

Last season seems to have been a case of ‘just calm it down a bit lads’. This year we need a defibrillator.

I said to a mate late last season that I was worried about our form after Christmas. It looked during the first half of the season very much like a side that was nicely caught between two styles of football. The best of the one plus the best of the other. But the more Klopp wears off, the more Arne Slot’s ideas of plodding football seem to have taken over. We better hope it’s just the new lads settling because if it isn’t we are in trouble. Can’t defend. Can’t attack. Can’t win the league with that.

Haha we are so s***. Arne Slot looking utterly clueless.

Hard and low ffs. That was like a toddler kicking a balloon at a party.

Chances of this team winning the league looks very low indeed. Got to be Arsenal’s year hasn’t it? They may get by just through being solid because we are currently s*** at both ends of the pitch.

He’s losing his hair. It might be what’s wrong with him.

Be nice for Wirtz to have a proper moment here.

He wanted a new contract and it looks like he should have got one. We have an absolutely painful lack of pace and creativity. And the lad worked harder than anyone.

One of the worst bits of transfer business we have ever done is to have sold Diaz. Absolutely insanity that was.

He’s either going to be the new poster boy for those that argue it’s a huge risk spending big from that league, or the new face of how even great players need time to adapt. For what he cost and what we were expecting it can’t be denied - a few nice touches here and there aside he has been s***e so far. Plenty to suggest that won’t remain the last long term.

For a team with the best goalkeeper, central defender and number 6 in the league/world we sure are complete s*** defensively.

We can’t win them all late.

I see Slot as more of a tracksuit manager. That promo picture of him was so awkward when he signed there was no way back. You can’t pop on a suit and have us forget. He’s been a whisker away from Dr Evil once or twice this year with his little jackets. You can’t be fashionable with a toddler’a build. Sorry Arne.

Think he’s publicly said since retirement that we wanted him a couple of times but Blackburn priced us out. Said he would have come here too. I desperately wanted him after the 2002 World Cup. He ran Spain ragged. It could have been him and Anelka but we ended up with Diouf, Diao and Cheyrou I think.