Jonesy

I'm chuffed for you. I love the videos.

Why don't give him a pyrex terrarium then!?

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Anyone willing to give odds on Bogman being found naked at the side of the pavement, s***ting in his hands and clapping?

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Aye stop being a massive fanny lad!

Suspiciously looking like @Hassony after a trip to the barbers!

PSG QR code, Newcastle bar code. Everybody's talking pop music!

Is that you fyds?

This is it what it boils down to. Its all about the Benjamin's.

Me, Murph and Slappy got an uber. We made the fellas day. Armenian chap. He ws so excited not have Parisians in his motor. He went as far to say as they dead behind the eyes and have no soul! I gave him a €10 tip for that comment.

Breaking and entering

And lastly I'm giving Murph my own version of Monsieur Baton in this one!

Nurse!

Here sir

Aye Gare Du Nord was fine. Our hotel (mine his and slapnuts) was no more than a 10min walk from there. But aye if no clue where it is then that's a bugger.

He'll live. I'll send you a version when we stop somewhere for a bite to eat.

It was a f***ing s*** show from the off. I went earlier in the day just for a mooch with Murph and Slappy and a few others. One of the lasses we were with said that underpass would cause problems with 1000s turning up at it We made the decision to go early and got there for 6pm. Had a couple of tins just outside the underpass then went through about 630pm. Walked all the way round the stadium at about 645pm. They only place there were a massive queues were our end for the gates Y and Z. When we saw them we thought f*** we'd better get in. Gate A, our entrance, was pretty empty and we got in no bother. They announced the delayed kick off saying it was down the the late arrival of fans. So I went back out of my block to have a look. Spoke to one our stewards. He was devasted the poor fella. He was saying that uefa and police weren't communicating anything to them. Really subdued atmosphere during the game. Felt really odd. With about 10 mins to go riot police marched round our end, as to make a statement for the cameras. As far as I could tell there wasn't any at the Madrid end. So our lot were lobbing flares and drinks at them. Some pissed fella tried to grab a beaker of water that belonged Kirsty. She whipped it off him and told f*** off. He went a bit mental calling her alsorts. Slappy stepped in a got a bop on his lip/nose for his troubles. Slappy looks like he's botox this morning like. More by luck than judgement we stayed behind to clap the lads. So missed all the tear gassing on the way out. Uefa and the French police are c**** to a man.

Is that a Ukraine top? Yes lad...

All in good time.... We're just getting our s*** together. Think we have to be out of here by 11. Will bell you shortly.

I am story teller. My stories must told..... Up the North Korean Reds

Sorry finger slipped and hit submit reply. I meant to 'Yes, you should have been there the first time we met Murph!'

Yes you!

E by gum!

I'm the main distraction where ever I go. I take the heat off the rest of you!