Odd kids from school

[Spike]

We had a lad called Elvis who was caught w***ing in a cupboard.

 

There was also a lad called Rob who took a dump in the art teachers antique box (fnar fnar) that she had on display. Come the end of turn she opened it up before packing away and puked on the spot. This same lad also, rumour had it, went down to the abandoned abatoir with his mate to do a bit of wrecking. Anyway they got bored so decided to give each other BJs.

 

There was also this lad who, being crap at footy and placed in goal, decided to take a dump by the posts mid game.

[Cobs]

We had a lad called Elvis who was caught w***ing in a cupboard.

 

There was also a lad called Rob who took a dump in the art teachers antique box (fnar fnar) that she had on display. Come the end of turn she opened it up before packing away and puked on the spot. This same lad also, rumour had it, went down to the abandoned abatoir with his mate to do a bit of wrecking. Anyway they got bored so decided to give each other BJs.

 

There was also this lad who, being crap at footy and placed in goal, decided to take a dump by the posts mid game.

where the feck did you go to school, spike?

[Spike]

an all boys school.

 

We also had one lad Gibbo who claimed to do 21 w***s in one day. Him and his mates used to have w***ing competitions in class, and who can pull the longest pube out.

 

Used to hate getting shared curiculum books as sometimes you'd find a load of pubes in them

[Herbie von Smalls]

there was a guy at our school that ended up doing time for attempted murder. he tapped on a police car window and when they rolled it down he threw in a petrol bomb. his older brother beat up one of the teachers too.

 

another guy once got a few guys to spit big greeners on to a wall and he proceeded not only to lick them off, but to swallow them. his fantasy involved doing something unprintable to (for?) his girlfriend at a particular time of the month.

[pipnasty]

There was a lad at our school who pretended to hold-up a 24 hour garage by pointing his finger like a gun under his jacket. He had to go to North Wales for a couple of months to escape when the local paper printed an artists impression of the failed robber which was a little bit to close for comfort in the likeness department.

A lad called Hally who once s*it in a bin in class and another time brought a sword to school to settle an argument with another lad.

A first year who was once tied up in gaffer tape and then locked in a cupboard for most of the day.

[Barnesy_10]

we had a lad called Jack who used to put his elbows on the corner of the desk and lift his legs up and rock backwards and forwards, about three or four times a lesson...

then there was Terry Logger who shat in the sink....

then there was Womble (One Ball) whos ball sack twisted round and round when running cross country, we all got back to school and he was nowhere to be seen, assumed he was slacking at the back as he was a fat f***, turned out he had collapsed in a ditch because his podgy thighs rubbed his balls round till the scrote split..... hence Womble

daz, who used to stab his own arm with his compass

dave-o that brought a little jam jar of his jism into school to try and pour into some birds drink..

Bill who made out he won the lottery by coming in to school in a limo every day for three weeks and spent loads on suits, and pretended to be a member of East 17 at a petrol station when he stepped out of the limo..... turned out his grandad had died and left him a car, which he flogged and blew the cash in a month.

[slapnuts]

by the sounds of them i went to school with normal kids.

[Spike]

thats cos you are the one they talk about

[Ostrich Man]

beaten to it.....

 

was gonna admit to knocking one out in class myself...but have decided against it.

Edited February 20, 2006 by Ostrich Man

[slapnuts]

thats cos you are the one they talk about

 

 

they didnt though......

 

you can feck off cos I reckon this is about you

 

another guy once got a few guys to spit big greeners on to a wall and he proceeded not only to lick them off, but to swallow them. his fantasy involved doing something unprintable to (for?) his girlfriend at a particular time of the month.

 

 

[Herbie von Smalls]

you can feck off cos I reckon this is about you :

you think i wouldn't have broadcast that to the forum before now? oh ye of little faith

[realtarragona]

Only thing I can think of from my school is two brothers (allegedly) who burnt the principal's house down, by putting fireworks through the letterbox.

 

Luckily him and his family were on holiday at the time.

 

Actually now I come to think of it, there was also some lad who shot and killed both his parents (it was on the news about a year ago).

Edited February 20, 2006 by realtarragona

[Ostrich Man]

you can feck off cos I reckon this is about you

 

another guy once got a few guys to spit big greeners on to a wall and he proceeded not only to lick them off, but to swallow them. his fantasy involved doing something unprintable to (for?) his girlfriend at a particular time of the month.

darren quigleys fantasy was for our mate kevins older sister to tie him naked to a tree and beat him with a wooden stool.

Edited February 20, 2006 by Ostrich Man

[Andy Mac]

We had a slapper at my school called Dawn - she really was happy to spread it about. I remember one time at a 5th year footie match when one of our better players (Carl) begged the teacher to play him as a sub as he had a sore shin. The teacher agreed. Carl then told me that Dawn wanted to give him a blow job and he'd decided he wanted the BJ rather than play.

 

Anyway, the game kicked off and I started to concentrate on the game rather than Carl's BJ.

 

Next thing I know I'm clear through on goal with only the keeper to beat. And there's Carl about 10 ft behind the far post with a great big smile on his face and his duffel coat covering Dawn's head ( bobbing up and down) and his midrift. I started laughing and took my eye of the ball (naturally) and the keeper dived at my feet to get the ball.

 

Carl started laughing so loud and Dawn's head popped up from beneath the coat fully exposing Carl's nads to all and sundry. I laughing my head of now just thinking about it.

 

Was one of the funniest things that I've ever witnessed

[Scally the Wag]

We seem to have been spared the scatological types at our school...

 

But we did have a kid in Primary who only ever said one thing. Whatever you said to him, question or statement, he always replied with the same single word: fruitcake.

 

His nickname was less than original...

 

Quite harmless but definitely strange.

[magneto]

farking hell

[Tosh]

We had a slapper at my school called Dawn - she really was happy to spread it about. I remember one time at a 5th year footie match when one of our better players (Carl) begged the teacher to play him as a sub as he had a sore shin. The teacher agreed. Carl then told me that Dawn wanted to give him a blow job and he'd decided he wanted the BJ rather than play.

 

Anyway, the game kicked off and I started to concentrate on the game rather than Carl's BJ.

 

Next thing I know I'm clear through on goal with only the keeper to beat. And there's Carl about 10 ft behind the far post with a great big smile on his face and his duffel coat covering Dawn's head ( bobbing up and down) and his midrift. I started laughing and took my eye of the ball (naturally) and the keeper dived at my feet to get the ball.

 

Carl started laughing so loud and Dawn's head popped up from beneath the coat fully exposing Carl's nads to all and sundry. I laughing my head of now just thinking about it.

 

Was one of the funniest things that I've ever witnessed

 

Put off your stride, so to speak

[Kahnee]

We had a guy who smashed his sunday school teacher over the head with a rock. Another one who was arrested twice - once for taking pot shots at his fellow pupils with an air rifle and once for trying to set fire to a disused petrol station.

Then there was the kid who got caught shagging his mum's dog. Don't know if that one is true or not, but he never actually denied it

[Guest Johnson]

Barrnesy 10

 

I really hated that name

[Gilps]

A lad called Hally who once s*it in a bin in class and another time brought a sword to school to settle an argument with another lad.

 

 

That's the last time I take the piss out of Jon

[Superjay]

We had a kid , patch, who was arrested a number of times at school because he used to rob a different car every morning and leave it parked outside the gate, even though he lived 5 mins away.

 

One year I was playing a charity game at a young offenders prison and when we came out onto the "pitch" he was on the edge watching. Some of our players had bottled it so our numbers were made up by two inmates. About 5 mins in patch shouts at me. "clinto, I'm gonna batter you!" With that one of our inmate member runs the full length of the pitch and blindside patch with a kick to the face. All hell broke loose and our team was locked in the dressing room until the riot calmed down.

 

He onced dived on my mates brother and broke his arm in 4 places because he knew he was a good guitarist. He's locked up now for stabbin his own brother in the neck with a bread carver over an arguement over pizza.

 

Feckin mental.

[Herbie von Smalls]

"clinto, I'm gonna batter you!"

young offenders' prison slang?

[Guest TanMan]

Barrnesy 10

 

I really hated that name

 

did you remembermembermember what a womber womber womble you were

[Tosh]

This thread has reminded me of a couple of lads at my school who had a pleasant habit of gobbing a greeny up onto the ceiling of the bogs, and waiting underneath it and catching the drip in their mouths.

 

I never quite saw the pleasure in this

[Mike]

Only thing I can think of from my school is two brothers (allegedly) who burnt the principal's house down, by putting fireworks through the letterbox.

 

Luckily him and his family were on holiday at the time.

 

Actually now I come to think of it, there was also some lad who shot and killed both his parents (it was on the news about a year ago).

 

was that lad on the wirral?