If I could turn back time

smithdown · December 3, 2008

Right on. Thanks for clicking.

Firstly, listen to this:

I said listen

"If I could turn back time

If I could find a way I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay

I don't know why I did the things I did I don't know why I said the things I said

Pride's like a knife it can cut deep inside

Words are like weapons they wound sometimes."

Now when Cher first jumped up and down and yelled her way through this enormous belter of a classic, not only was she introducing the concept of time travel into the popular consciousness for the first time, she was also inspiring this post some twenty years later. Not that she could ever have known what on earth she was doing (or could she?), as in those days, the very idea of threads - which would have meant clothes in her day - and posts - which were just things the council used to keep feckin lamps in the air - would have been fanciful nonsense. Indeed, if you were to whisper the words 'world wide web' into her ear she'd have stabbed you in the guts, and fed your corpse to a lizard. And she'd have rights.

Regardless, we're here and she's not. So the question is, if you yourself could "turn back time" where would you go, what would you do and who would you do it to? Who here has never lay down in a deep bath and had a long slow w*nk over the idea? Or an angry one, perhaps? I don't actually care. I'm just trying to "find a way" to invite fellow forumites to think about history for a few minutes and there's no shame in that.

Moreover, if you could "turn back time" but you could only say seven words - who would you choose and what words would you choose and what would happen when you said the words you chose to the person you chose? Seven words not enough? Ok, ten, twenty, who gives a sh*t, go on all day if you want. Is there an incident or incidents in history that you'd like to change with a lighthearted pithy bon mot and a click of your heels, or, can you think of nothing, do you think everything's feckin perfect as it is, everything's feckin hunky dory is it - you lazy complacent piece of sh*t.

Perhaps, like Cher, you would take words back? Not sure how that would work with Hitler or Coldplay but f*ck it.

Think of it like this and think long and think hard. I've laid down the bassline, now jam motherf*ckers jam.

melia · December 3, 2008

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