The Jeff Stelling Super Soccer Saturday Drinking game

[Guy_Incognito]

- Everytime a goal is scored:- 1 shot of beer

- Every sending off:- 1 shot of Jager (or substitute)

- Half time:- Absolutley no alcoholic beverages may be

imbibed during this period.

- Whenever Chris Kamara is talking:- You must be drinking

- Whenever Merson uses stupid rhyming slang (i.e."he's hit the beans on toast"!):- 1 shot of Jager

- In the second half, all teams can only be referred to by their nicknames:- Failure to do so results in a 3 beer shot penalty.

- Whenever Swindon Town appear on the vidiprinter: - Last person to shout out 'Mackerel' takes shot of Jager.

- Whenever Dundee appear on the vidiprinter:- Last person to shout out 'Football' takes shot of Jager.

- Everytime Phil Thompson says 'Stevie Gerrard':- 3 shots of beer.

- Everytime Jeff makes an 'A Trialist' joke:- 3 shots of beer.

- Everytime your team score:- 2 extra shots of beer

- Everytime Matty Taylor and 'Goal of the Season' are mentioned in the same sentence:- 1 shot of Jager

- Everytime Jeff calls Kenny Deucher 'The Good Doctor':- 1 shot of Whisky

- Any hint of racism (social or otherwise) from any of the pundits:- Quad bombs (4 jager+redbull) all round

- Everytime Hartlepool score a goal:- 3 shots of beer

- Everytime a pundit shouts off camera:- 2 shots of beer

- Everytime LeTiss is mentioned in connection with a takeaway: - 1 shot of Jager

- Whenever Chris Kamara says "its unbelievable Jeff", all drinks must be downed

- Everytime Jeff mentions "dancing in the streets of TNS: - 1 shot of jager

- Everytime Jeff says "its Doom and Gloom at..." - 1 shot of jager

- Everytime the team 'Keith' is referred to as just being one guy :- 1 shot of jager

- Everytime Brighton & Hove, or Daggers & Redbridge are jokingly referred to as two different teams playing the same oppo :- 1 shot of jager

- Everytime when Arbroath striker Kevin Webster scores and Stelling says "ohh, Sally will be pleased" :- 1 shot of Jager.

- Everytime anything bad happens to Craig Bellemy (injury, og, booked, arrested for assault etc.) :- 2 celebratory shots of the spirit of choice.

- Whenever Northampton Town appear on the vidiprinter, last person to shout out 'Cobblers' :- shot of Jager

[ManxRed]

-Everytime Jeff says in a dramatic way "There's been a goal at the --------, but.... which.... way..... has..... it..... gone....? - One shot of beer.

- Everytime Jeff announces a result by telling a set of fans to look away now - one shot of jager.

[Boca]

- First time Paul Merson opens his big fat gob:- One shot with a pistol straight into the temple

[matty]

When Stelling says "They haven't scored at home for six matches... the longest spell in the club's history... manager under enormous pressure... and facing the league's tightest defence.........and they still haven't scored! Goal to Swansea!" run screaming from the room, take pants off, urinate over neighbours garden and howl like a Proboscis monkey.

[Cliff M]

- whenever Jeff says "it's all happening now at the _____" -one shot of beer

- no toilet visits until Jeff says any of the above, then back within 2 mins or a penalty of finish whatever's in your glass

[Earl Hafler]

Everytime Chris Kamara reports the action in the 1st person, as if he was the player involved.

 

" Gerrard's crossed it and Peter Crouch is there with Titus Bramble. I'm a top striker who plays for his country, i'm taller than you and i'm going to attack this ball. He's attacked it and it's gone straight into the bottom corner. " = shot of poteen.

[Falconhoof]

Everytime Chris Kamara reports the action in the 1st person, as if he was the player involved.

 

" Gerrard's crossed it and Peter Crouch is there with Titus Bramble. I'm a top striker who plays for his country, i'm taller than you and i'm going to attack this ball. He's attacked it and it's gone straight into the bottom corner. " = shot of poteen.

 

 

[McBain]

Whenever Alan Mcinally starts a sentence then moves on to another before the last is finished = 1 shot*

 

*warning; This will lead to almost instant intoxication

[JohnnyH]

Whenever Charlie Nicolas says "I just don't understand Benitez's plans" 1 shot of window cleaner.

[Guest Finnan3]

Everytime Chris Kamara reports the action in the 1st person, as if he was the player involved.

 

" Gerrard's crossed it and BIG Peter Crouch is there with BIG Titus Bramble. I'm a top striker who plays for his country, i'm taller than you and i'm going to attack this ball. He's attacked it and it's gone straight into the bottom corner. " = shot of poteen.

 

Thats more like it