The popularity of soccer in America

New York Red · November 9, 2006

Just got this email this morning. It is incredibly accurate in this country.

You know you're a "soccer family" when...

...You have owned every style of camping chair ever made.

...You have never met a linesman who knows how to call off-sides properly ... especially when it's on the other team!

...Your kid takes a bloody wallop on the nose, and your first thought is that he/she needs to quit crying or be subbed quickly because we're running

out of time in the game.

...You know every elementary school, jr. high, high school, college and park with a soccer field in the metro area, and you know where the

closest Starbucks, bagel shop, and Subway is to each of those fields

...You know how to get to all of the above without getting lost.

...Your gas credit card bills are bigger than your 2nd mortgage

. ..All of your vacation time is taken up by soccer events. No more beach vacations, unless your team gets invited to Surf Cup. No more ski vacations ever!

... You know the closest grocery store to the practice fields because that is where you do your shopping

...There are posters of Englishmen and Brazilians in your house.

...You feel compelled to point out hand balls to 65 year old Refs with thick glasses.

...You've forgotten where you go to church.

...Your child's "good shoes" are his newest soccer cleats

...You and your spouse spend all weekend driving to soccer games. In different cars ... In different counties ... With different kids. And talk on the cell phone only to compare scores. And don't see each other until Sunday night.

...You are happy to spend $115 on soccer cleats, but are appalled when the materials for your child's science fair project cost $30 .

...The kids on your team are 'feisty', while the kids on the opposing team are 'dirty'.

...You have been to several cities that have wonderful tourist attractions, but while in these cities you have seen only soccer fields, hotels, rental car counters, and airports.

...The mats on your car's rear floor are never free of dried grass and black turf pebbles.

.... You have a strict rule about "no removing shin guards inside of the car" ..Phew

...You look forward to Monday so you can go back to work and relax.

...You have not celebrated your anniversary for 4 years because it always falls on a practice or game day.

...You own a 3-year-old SUV with 182,000 miles on it.

.... On the rare weekend when your child does not have a game you look for something soccer related to do, like going to the games of your friend's children.

.... You begin to use words like football, pitch, boots, sides, fixtures and tables in a way that totally befuddles your non-soccer friends and family...

.... You can recognize the most national team jerseys and the majority of major European club jerseys on sight

... You go from an 8 to a 22 handicap in four years and you have not been invited to a golf scramble since then because everyone knows it !

...while watching the documentary "Supersize Me", you and the wife realize you have come close to duplicating that diet during consecutive weekends with tournaments.

.... You receive at least three copies of the "Eurosport" catalogue in the mail each week.

... You wish you had bought stock in Igloo because you own every shape & size of cooler and water bottle...

...when someone asks you how old your child is, you respond, "She's U11"

.... You drive home from the game complaining bitterly about the condition of the field and its adverse effect on your kid' s game only to pull into

your driveway and have your spouse point out the 14 inch high grass which has not been mowed in 2 weeks....

... Your closest friends are those you met through your child's teams.

Spion kop · November 9, 2006

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