Bad TV pitches

Kahnee · September 12, 2006

Nonentity Love Garage. Twelve unknowns get drunk in an Ilford lock-up and flirt with each other in an unpleasantly predatory manner. Like sharks circling a blood clot.

Sneer & There: White, middle-class Oxbridge graduates tour the lowspots of Britain making sniffy comments about the locals' oafish behaviour and low aspirations.

Least Haunted: Yvette and the team visit new-build properties situated on land reclaimed from the sea. In broad daylight. In August. Minimal spooky goings-on.

Celebrity Knock Down Ginger: this week, Vernon Kay and Justin Lee Collins knock on the front door of pensioner Elsie Angina (87) and run away.

Time Team Mass Grave Special: Tony Robinson and the crew have just 24 hours to reassemble the 97 skeletons found near a drainage ditch in Rwanda.

Get AWAY From Me: each week the camera crew follow a member of the public for no reason, until they get an injunction, start crying or smack the boom operator in the mouth.

I'm F**king Terrified: ambient late-night show featuring muffled moans, shadowy images and the occasional sudden loud noise.

Thom Yorke's Bleak Dungeon: the Radiohead frontman presents images of urban decay, death and existential angst over a soundtrack of his last two albums played at quarter-speed. This replaces the advertised episode of Dick & Dom In Da Bungalow.

Hobbsie · September 12, 2006

This post is not viewable to guests.

You can sign in to your account at the login page here