DaveLFC

The FA have begun a "Warren Report' style investigation after it appeared robben was shot by an assassin yesterday at stamford bridge during the game with Liverpool. "This has all the signs of the Kennedy Assassination" said an FA spokesman today "So we are going to emply the same tactics to solve the mystery. Initially it was thought a glancing brush to the face by Pepe Reina had floored robben but replays clearly show a second shot must have come from another angle as Robben's head jerks back and his face winces in pain as he drops to the ground. "We think the shot came from the grassy knoll, a large clump of turf just near the touch line" said the chief investigator. "We have spoken to the linesman though and he said he saw nothing. Reina remains the chief suspect at the moment although 'ball'istics experts are going to visit stamford bridge today and try to recreate the scene "Our problem is there are several grassy knolls all over the pitch that the shot could have come from, we just don't know where to start" The FA remain doubtfull of this being solved, "We hired the same people last year for the assassination of gudjohnsen and they failed to find a second gunman then as well" It appears that this second assassin has managed a spate of similar acts over the year and so far has remained at large. Rafa Benitez said "This is rubbish, Robben clearly dived and faked it all" The FA remain unconvinced with this "Rafa is clutching at straws, we believe in our second assassin theory but can't even contemplate what Mr Benitez has suggested."

I think Rafa is saving him for Charlton myself, and of course Arsenal

A more factual and reasonable title I have to agree.

thread should have been titled 'chop souey' or 'Souey gets the chop'

What a comeback, now go and have a sit down, you must be tired.

Nice reply, well constructed and thought out. Obviously dug deep there. Well done.

just back from the game... about the most upset and angry that I've been for a long time really. of course some of that has to be coming down from the euphoria that was the return of Robbie. We all expected miracles and unfortunately we didn't get one. Now that's done though we can get on with the job of trying to win games. To most tonight Birmingham went down to 10 men when 'Can't ref, won't ref' Ainsley Rennie sent off one of their players. To the trained eye some will have seen that Morientes nicely slipped into defence for birmingham where he had a great game, it was Liverpool that dropped to 10 men.. Having rested Carra for this game the defence looked a little 'out of sorts' at times and that of course was due to the fact that new boy Agger has not played with them. He looked nervous at the start but settled and managed a 'biscan' style run through the centre of the pitch. Even almost managing a goal in the second half. Birmingham may have substituted their best player after going down to technically 10 men but they never gave up the fight and put up a reasonable display at times. it was mainly down to our poor finishing and some good saves that we threw away two points tonight. Hindsight is a wondeful thing and once again Rafa took off Crouch when he should have grabbed a rifle and finished off garcia and morientes. It is no suprise that some are questioning Rafa and his decisions tonight. Some positives, Kewell is getting better and better. Riise didn't have a bad game although if he didn't have kewell to pass to whoever he did pass to messed it up. Birmingham are a team that have gained a little form of late and it showed. But no excuses we should have torn them to pieces easily with 11 men. Nice to see Robbie back, those that listened on the radio or watched the game on dodgy satellite won't have seen his workrate. He worked hard tonight and had he been playing with Crouch instead of Morientes then who knows.. I've restrained myself here.. but I will add that based on tonights performance and tonight only, Morientes should be dropped. There will be enough people on here to slate him and put it in different ways but he was possibly the worst player I have seen up front for us for years tonight. I think I'd better stop before this degenerates into a post slaggimg him off... 2 points lost and a poor effort..

ironic quote that from you 'dry run'

The mysterious hand is just Little Luis who poor thing is standing on his tip toes and still can't be seen.

More on the offal now

There's absolutely no chance of us signing Robbie Fowler, these transfer rumours get more ludicrous by the day

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I hear Heskey has been sitting by the phone all day.

The only suprise is why people think he would be in the squad. Rafa has already indicated that he needs a lot of work on his fitness. There will be plenty of time for him to play for us once he has gained what Rafa believes is the right level of fitness to compete for a place on the bench.

I was being ironic.. failed miserably obviously.

dream on Adriano is going nowhere.

David Moyes is said ot be at his lowest ebb today. Not since we won the CL has he been so upset. I know the real story behind the result, I know why he is so suprised and saddened. Apparently he found a magic lamp yesterday afternoon tucked under his bed in the team hotel. he rubbed the lamp and to his suprise a genie appeared. Unlike the stories he got to have only one wish. Thinking hard, taking his time and careful that genies have a reputation for wicked humour he thought about what might be the best way to propel his team into the limelight that had been stolen by their Liverpool supporting rivals. Taking a deep breath, Moyes looked up at the genie an said outloud "I wish we could have a six goal european thriller, one that everton fans and England will never forget" The rest is history.

A real suprise but I'm trusting the manager here, he obviously knows what he is doing and has the players on the bench to change things when he wants.