stressederic

Pickford gives away a penalty in the first 40 seconds by, and this will shock you, going in on the attacker with his feet.

I reckon Rio starts this.

West Ham 2-0 up against Wolves which will drop Spurs into the relegation zone 3-0 now

Before the return leg, I was driving home from work, and Ballague was on the radio saying how odd he’d found it that none of the UK newspapers had spotted that quite a few Barca players were nearly throwing up on the side of the pitch in the first leg because our press had exhausted them. Messi did an interview after that match and said if both teams played the same way again then Liverpool would go through.

Only if it’s played at Amiens

In 1918, at the start of the German Spring Offensive, the Germans fired over 3 million artillery shells at the British line in 5 hours. When they then followed up with infantry and captured British trenches they found that many of the soldiers there had been rendered catatonic by the bombardment. They were sat at tables and were completely non-functional. You could just walk up and push them over. I can sympathise.

f***ing yikes again

f***ing yikes

Oh Hugo that’s bobbins

Big block there as otherwise Wirtz has scored

Not sure this Red Sea formation is working for us

Ah this could be about to get worse

He’s good that lad

That’s that then

Konate went for a Matip moment for a while there

Is their keeper a 1980s action figure? Hands locked in a fist so you can put a laser gun in it.

Kinhell that was f***ing garbage from Mac Allister with the cushioned header to their lad

Those Haier appliances would get a game for us

Never a booking that

Taking my revolver for a walk in the woods

Ah well. There it is.

Given the circumstances it’s not a bad one in this era for us either

I’d take that as the result

Do games normally last this long? Time for the ref to blow for full time, I reckon.

Could also be Frimpong at wide right in place of Salah and Gomez in at right back