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Who hasn't been in this situation?


boohog

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So, everyones been in this sort of situation right? So here's a hypothetical scenario:

 

You're in a hotel room in China on the 40th floor banging a hooker, when, during a particularly vigourous and possibly over-ambitious manouvre, she (or he depending on your version of the story) falls backwards and smashes her head into the corner of a glass coffee table killing her stone dead.

 

So, the question is, when, sorry if, this hypothetical scenario happened to you, what would you do? And since the hypothetical scenario is based in China and the hypothetical protagonist doesn't want to be bummed in the face in a Chinese jail, you can assume that coming clean isn't an option. For the purposes of simplicity, the hotel in this story has a minibar, a large bloodstained rug, windows that open and you have about 6 hours before room service show up.

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I would do what any sane person would do. I'd send up the signal - a pair of rabbit ears shadowed on a low lying nimbulus - and retire to the nearest agricultural supply store with a car park and I'd wait til it was closed and I'd sit and I'd wait until the specialist showed up to issue instructions.

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do they have CCTV in the hallways..?

 

Only the lobby and the lifts.

 

I would do what any sane person would do. I'd send up the signal - a pair of rabbit ears shadowed on a low lying nimbulus - and retire to the nearest agricultural supply store with a car park and I'd wait til it was closed and I'd sit and I'd wait until the specialist showed up to issue instructions.

 

How do you say Agricultural in Mandarin?

 

demand a new hooker as the previous one was broken?

 

What's the best way to kill the new one? Clothes peg or claw hammer?

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If you are that high up you could cut her and the carpet into tiny pieces and chuck them out the window, they'll dissolve or disintegrate before they get the chance to land on a chap's hat as he goes for a stroll to inspect the afternoon papers or a lady's sunshade as she f*cks about.

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If you are that high up you could cut her and the carpet into tiny pieces and chuck them out the window, they'll dissolve or disintegrate before they get the chance to land on a chap's hat as he goes for a stroll to inspect the afternoon papers or a lady's sunshade as she f*cks about.

 

Torch the pieces before they are chucked out of the window p'raps?

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cart the body down the stairs to the basement, load it into your Chinese rental car and drive somewhere where the victim wouldnt look out of place - I'd suggest Chinatown would be perfect for this. Dump body and burn out the car.

 

Alternatively you could just lob the whole lot out the window and set fire to the hotel room ensuring the rug is destroyed.

 

Or you could just leave her outside your room like people do with room service trays when theyre finished with them - I assume you have finished with the hooker at this stage?

Edited by DPD1973
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Or you could just leave her outside your room like people do with room service trays when theyre finished with them - I assume you have finished with the hooker at this stage?

 

did you manage to get off? otherwise it's difficult to think straight with blue balls

 

Get my money's worth before she goes cold.

 

:) When did you lot carry out your first sex crimes....

 

knock up another room kill the occupants, cart over the hooker and swap over the rugs.. jobs a good'n.

 

This seems to be a good option. The job would have to be done pretty quick since getting the fire axe from the corridor will set the alarms off. You'd have to prep with the body and rug lying outside before busting open the fire axe and knocking on the door.

 

cart the body down the stairs to the basement, load it into your Chinese rental car and drive somewhere where the victim wouldnt look out of place - I'd suggest Chinatown would be perfect for this. Dump body and burn out the car.

 

Alternatively you could just lob the whole lot out the window and set fire to the hotel room ensuring the rug is destroyed.

 

How do you get directions to Chinatown when you are in China?

Edited by boohog
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