How to make nipple out of yourself in one easy move.....

Jonesy · November 14, 2006

Well I went out on Saturday. Spent the evening watching the mancs play blackburn. Had a few pints watching the game and I had arranged to meet a few people later on that evening. Anyhow there was a cider promotion on in the boozer where I was watching the game. Needless to say I had a shed full. The people I was with at the time started cracking gags round the table.....some of which I hadn't heard before. So I thought hey there not bad I tell them later.......cut a long story down to middle length I went to meet to meet the the rest of the gang. There was one lass there that I thought I knew but I couldn't remember where I knew her from. So my mate introduces her to me 'Jonesy this is Lucy......Lucy this is Jonesy'. Me being a bit worse for wear from the cider I do about 30 seconds of formalities and pleasantries and start to reel of these gags that I'd heard earlier (there's always one fecker who thinks they are funny after scoop or three). I get halway through gag one and she blurts out the punchline. I thought fair enough I'd do the same if I knew the ending. So I start off with another one. I get two sentences in and blurts out the punchline again. Fecking hell! So I thought I will give it one more go. I got as far as first sentence and boom she does it again. Every other fecker round the table is pissng themselves laughing......and I haven't got a clue why! So I went to the bar to get another drink and forgot about it.

I didn't find out until Sunday either. I went to watch the Liverpool match and my mate says do you remember last night (often I don't). I said what with that Lucy lass? Aye thats the one. Do you know who she is he said. Nah I aint got a clue I tried telling her three jokes and gave up in the end. He said that my friend was Lucy Porter, professional comedian.

Once a clunt always a clunt I say......she had nice t*** though!!

Spike · November 14, 2006

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