I just got sent this story....

Bailo · January 12, 2006

Possibly from Tory Party HQ?

THE CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END

THE BRITISH VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his

house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a

fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant

is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why

the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less

fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper;

with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table

laden with food.

Britons are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper

is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The Labour Party, Greenpeace and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate

in front of the ant's house. The BBC, interrupting a Jamaican cultural

festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts them

singing "We Shall Overcome"

Ken Livingstone rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the ant has

gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax

hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".

In response to polls, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and

Grasshopper Anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the

summer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire

grasshoppers as helpers.

Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive

taxes, the government repossesses his home.

The ant moves to Spain, and starts a successful wine-exporting company.

A Panorama special later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the

last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the

council house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house,

crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Trevor Phillips is appointed to

head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Daily Mirror blames it

on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair

arising from social inequity.

The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised

by the government for enriching Britain's multicultural diversity, who

promptly set up a marijuana plantation and terrorise the community.

THE END

Edited January 12, 2006 by SuperDjibril

matty · January 12, 2006

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