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Old Fart Syndrome


Duncan Disorderly

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I'm increasingly finding myself standing in a room in my house thinking...

 

"WTF did I come in here for?"

 

And we now have a manager that's younger than than I am!

 

What makes all the forumites think they're getting old?

 

When I see people make the mistake of typing the same word twice in the one sentence, I think to myself, "gosh, they must be really old".

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I couldn't read very fine small print the other day. I have previously been confident in my perfect eyesight, but this is a new thing. I'm noticing things out of focus for a moment until my eyes adjust.

Actually, I've noticed that too these days.

 

When I see people make the mistake of typing the same word twice in the one sentence, I think to myself, "gosh, they must be really old".

I'm using the wife's Kindle. Not used to it.

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I couldn't read very fine small print the other day. I have previously been confident in my perfect eyesight, but this is a new thing. I'm noticing things out of focus for a moment until my eyes adjust.

 

I am 54 and I now have reading glasses all over the place. The noise things do not bother me so much, but my wife is convinced I have "selective hearing dysfunction" so no surprises there.

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Yup - prescription glasses of ever increasing strength.

 

Intolerance of young people's stupid ways of talking.

 

My 'window of interest' for the lower and upper ages which I find women attractive has migrated up the scale considerably at both ends.

 

I hardly ever walk past a radiator without checking sliding my hand along it to see whether it has any cool patches caused by air locks.

 

The length of my night time sleep seem to be getting shorter by about half an hour a year, yet my ability to nap during the day is more than compensating for that.

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Yup - prescription glasses of ever increasing strength.

 

Intolerance of young people's stupid ways of talking.

 

My 'window of interest' for the lower and upper ages which I find women attractive has migrated up the scale considerably at both ends.

 

I hardly ever walk past a radiator without checking sliding my hand along it to see whether it has any cool patches caused by air locks.

The length of my night time sleep seem to be getting shorter by about half an hour a year, yet my ability to nap during the day is more than compensating for that.

 

those 1-2 hour afternoon naps come in handy after only 5 hours sleep overnight.

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I played golf last week, the lad I played with works for Vodafone in a really high powered job. We played, I beat him (as usual) we had something to eat and he went off to work.

 

Only when he parked up did he realise he was in his golf gear, his suit was in the changing room with his shirt and tie. So he f*cked off to Matalan and bought a cheap suit shirt and tie, none of it fitted, none of it matched and he's normally a sharp dresser, apparently he walked into work looking like an retired bricklayer at a funeral

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I played golf last week, the lad I played with works for Vodafone in a really high powered job. We played, I beat him (as usual) we had something to eat and he went off to work.

 

Only when he parked up did he realise he was in his golf gear, his suit was in the changing room with his shirt and tie. So he f*cked off to Matalan and bought a cheap suit shirt and tie, none of it fitted, none of it matched and he's normally a sharp dresser, apparently he walked into work looking like an retired bricklayer at a funeral

 

haha brilliant! never knew you were mates with Yosser Hughes!

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I played golf last week, the lad I played with works for Vodafone in a really high powered job. We played, I beat him (as usual) we had something to eat and he went off to work.

 

Only when he parked up did he realise he was in his golf gear, his suit was in the changing room with his shirt and tie. So he f*cked off to Matalan and bought a cheap suit shirt and tie, none of it fitted, none of it matched and he's normally a sharp dresser, apparently he walked into work looking like an retired bricklayer at a funeral

 

 

What's this got to do with realising you are getting old?

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Only when he parked up did he realise he was in his golf gear, his suit was in the changing room with his shirt and tie. So he f*cked off to Matalan and bought a cheap suit shirt and tie, none of it fitted, none of it matched and he's normally a sharp dresser, apparently he walked into work looking like an retired bricklayer at a funeral

 

Why didn't he buy a suit, shirt and tie that did match and did fit?

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What's this got to do with realising you are getting old?

 

 

 

He forgot what the question was.

 

 

My 'window of interest' for the lower and upper ages which I find women attractive has migrated up the scale considerably at both ends.

 

 

 

 

For me the 'window' has just opened wider at both ends.

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My 'window of interest' for the lower and upper ages which I find women attractive has migrated up the scale considerably at both ends.

 

indeed...obviously theres loads of students knocking about our place, the guy I work with is the same age as me and is constantly perving over them, but I just find them all too young looking for comfort...Im definitely a Milf man these days.

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What's this got to do with realising you are getting old?

 

 

The thread title is Old Fart Syndrome, I took a right liberty recanting a tale about an old fart that isn't actually me because I thought it may raise a chuckle. :rolleyes:

 

Why didn't he buy a suit, shirt and tie that did match and did fit?

 

 

I don't know, perhaps he was in a mad rush, knew he'd only wear the new kit the once and just grabbed the cheapest thing he could find that he could actually do up?

 

I don't care that much to ask him to be honest.

 

Are all bricklayers scruffy and incapable of buying a suit that matches?

 

 

I don't know, I tried to research it but no joy, all i can say is, I know a few old builders and they're largely scruffy c*nts, yes.

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I did something similar to Murph's mate about a year ago. Went to the gym before work but forgot to pick up my suit, shirt and tie on the way out. I ended up buying one in Asda, which was sooooo shiny you could see your face in it. There were sparks flying off me every time I took a step, and the tie was crackling with static.

 

A suits not much use on a building site.

 

Depends on the type of suit and who's wearing it.

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