Michael

Pardew is an utter tw*t. He’s blaming Liverpool for taking Guehi when Parish has chosen to sell him because he wants the money now rather than lose him for nothing next year. Guehi hasn’t kicked off. Palace could have simply said no if they didn’t want to sell and that would have been the end of it. I bet he swears at the shop staff in Tescos when they actually give him shopping and take his money.

If you look closely you’ll see that it’s actually Rob Brydon.

Yeah, Isak

Luke and Edward.

Would we be bringing Gomez on if he’s supposedly off to Milan? Looks like he’s staying.

I nominate Zubimendi for a red card today.

Surely you mean €5

Surely you mean “nein”

Geez, Steve parish really is a tough negotiator.

Let’s present Isak and Guehi on the pitch before the Arsenal game even if we haven’t signed them!

If Isak were to tell them he’s staying, they would have technically “got one through the door “………,,.,then they could sell him.* *They’re Geordies, so it could work.

All part of Amorim’s plan: no European football so the players can concentrate on domestic competition, no cup football so the players can concentrate on the league, bottom of the league so the players can be sold, no players so save on salaries. Ratcliffe will be delighted.

Its a shame that Stephan Kuntz never played for United.

They would have been own goals

Has Tonali backed himself to be substituted?

All things considered, Newcastle could do with a striker.

Hooper will pull this back for the foul on Jones which he will just notice now.

So has Joe Gomez.

You can’t compare those two quotes! Completely different situations! Everyone can see it, it’s ermmm………………black and white.

That should have been a penalty.

Dude where’s my car(eer)?

I couldn’t see it!

My picture is like a Mark Rothko painting.

Yes

Couldn’t you just have had a nurse fondling you like the rest of us?