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Belfast and being a certain age

Ostrich Man

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probably a romario....but some funny ones in there



1. Your never cold but sometimes baltic.

2. The sight of 12-year-olds smoking is normal.

3. Castle Court - the traditional and best - is well better than that Victoria Square place.

4. You have owned a pair of Nike Air Max at some stage.

5. You will fight anyone who claims Callum Best's Da wasn't the best footballer EVER.

6. Your passionate about an English or Scottish football team.

7. You know what real rain is like.

8. You think If you can't see the Haarland and Wolfe cranes from your bedroom window your a culchie.

9. You remember when it was OK to smoke (anything) in the KFC in Corn Market.

10. So it is

11. You know what the word Ball root means.

12. You use the word 'sweet' and 'powerful' as a substitute for almost any adjective.

13. You are a half decent pool player and know your way around a snooker table.

14. You know what the words 'space-cadet' and 'rocket' really mean.

15. Your friends still call you by your childhood nickname.

16. You cringe when you hear someone from your city speak on national tv.

17. You been told wha' at least once in your life.

18. You know at least one person called mackers.

19. Ballycastle is your most frequented holiday destination.

20. Your Granny had a framed picture of the Pope or the Queen in the living room but neither both.

21. Jim McDonald from Coronation Street and Eamon Holmes embarrass you.

21. The most common phrase used when you are slightly surprised at something is: 'Here's me wha!!??'

22. You can tell what religion somebody is by the side of the road they walk on.

23. You spend every Christmas Eve in your local and have the EXACT same sonversations as the year before.

24. You are 27 married with 2 kids, a dog and have a mortage of your own, but if you are home for Christmas and your parents are away for a couple of days you still think : 'Sweet, free house!'

25. You have been to "Dempsey's" for an 18th/16th birthday party

26. You can remember seeing soldiers walk down your street with guns in the middle of the day for no apparent reason

27. Lavery's Middle Bar was the height of your teenage social life

28 You have purchased a single cigarette a some stage of your life

29 A member of the opposite religion has been "after you"

30 You frequented a country park or wasteground each weekend to drink alchohol

31 When the police were in the vicinity some one always greeted them with the phrase "ss ruc"

32 You have used the phrase "will you see me/my mate"

33 You have shoplifted in Virgin Megastores (RIP)

34 You have been "de begged"

35. Your main arguement for anything you disagreed with was 'sure nah!'.

36. The smell of slurry in the country makes you gag.

37. You still think people who live in the cities of Newry and Ballymena are culties.

38. You didn't do graffiti, you gave yourself a 'mention on a wall'.

39. You remember Leisure World being the best toy shop in 'the whole whil' world'.

40. you have "pinged a windy" at some stage

41. anyone who doesnt have a 1 back and sides is a "hippy"

42. you have at some stage shaved your head, leaving a stupid wee fringe at the front, which you may have dyed blonde for that distinctive belfast look

43. you know what a steeko is, and have a tendency to turn into one after a few beers

44. you have had a telling off from your da which began with the phrase ´listen sonny jim...´

45.you have a mild addiction to pastie baps

46. you have at least once in your life considered sniffing glue

47.you have at least one ginger mate, who you call ´fanta pants´ at least three times a day

48. you know what a barrack buster is, and at one time this was your favourite carry-out

49. you have at some point slegged someone for wearing two-striper trackie bottoms

50. when some millie's annoyed she says, "Oh mummy!! What are you like!!"

51. when your granny says "Yer a*** is parsley!!!"

52. when you say in disgust at a lie yer mate told, "Aye rite dead on ball bag!!"

53. when you've ordered drink after hours from 'dial a drink'

54. everyday you call at least 1 person a 'melter'

55. you've said 'i'm gonna get my big brooar for ye, or im gonna get my da for ye."

56. you have walked to the top of the cavehill until you get to what is known as 'napolean's nose'

57. you have told the taximan to leave you to the wasteground where you learned to drink ran away until you are a safe distance away to shout slurs at the taximan such as '

and here, if you try and chase me, my mates gona steal your car'

58. you have bought '5 lighters for a pound!'

59. you have been in some sort of riot

60. if you want to buy something semi legal like a dope pipe or martial arts weapons (ninja star, nunchucks that sort of thing) you go to Smithfield market or In Shops

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