Kahnee

Yes, but apart from that....

Is the tofu-knitting, lentil-munching formerly-hip muso really a credible source?

f*** me he's gone up £5m in the last page or so. Inflation really is out of control

Still can't work out how he's ended up pitch side on match days offering up his opinions

I'm not frigid...

I resent that. I was a catch back then and you know it

Then we'll need to replace him. Which means going looking for a midfielder. Which means talking to a club about a fee. Which means..... Oh, it's September already

Micky van der Doo-Dah still hasn't signed for Spurs...

If only he worked for the club

They do seem to make a dog's dinner of things

Like you'd be out there driving around in your car. You're a son of the internet age

I can actually see you doing the dance in that suit

Misread that as Tom Daley and didn't think it the worst idea for replacing Hendo

Helps when you have mates you work with who run football clubs and are desperate to buy...

Holding out for £40m only to find City don't want to buy him back next year could be costly. They need money now, given the fact their income has just dropped off a cliff

£50m package = buttons plus loads of add-ons. As the 20% would come off the buttons, I'd imagine Southampton are pushing for achievable add-ons

Do they not start on 0 like the rest of us? No wonder the b*****ds keep winning the league

Booooooooo Bad Pipnasty Booooooooo

Jordan's road to de-mass-cash The Riyal deal

Very much so

He drives a Skoda apparently

I'd have dodged that shoot to be fair

Do we know what it looks like?

Cancelling someone seems to be the inevitable conclusion once the word 'woke' gets invoked (or, to put it another way, it was a wild stab at humour)

We currently have 8 midfielders. Seven when Fab goes, but he'll be replaced. With Thiago still in the squad, that's seven vying for three spots. You think we need nine midfielders? Ten on the days Thiago isn't broken? In more serious matters, are we cancelling Case or Crouchie? I kind of skim-read that bit. And do i start the groundwork now to get my sick-note extended to a second month to make sure I'm not working on Deadline Day?