New European Commission ruling

[Metro]

The European Commission has proposed an EU-wide Common European Directive to fix an acceptable figure for the number of sheets to be used in each eco-friendly visit to the toilet! To ensure enforcement, computer chips are suggested to be installed in every loo-roll dispenser. Information on usage will also form an integral part of future home Information Packs available to prospective purchasers on sale of a property.

A Commission spokesman said, "Astonishingly, many people use only one side of the toilet paper. This profligacy leads directly to deforestation in the Amazon" (and other online booksellers, I should think). "If we are serious about wiping away past mistakes, we must start with a clean sheet and regulations should be introduced requiring the use of both sides. Compliance can be monitored by CCTV cameras" (which will, at the current rate of progress shortly cover every square inch of the UK).

[Noel Street]

The European Commission has proposed an EU-wide Common European Directive to fix an acceptable figure for the number of sheets to be used in each eco-friendly visit to the toilet! To ensure enforcement, computer chips are suggested to be installed in every loo-roll dispenser. Information on usage will also form an integral part of future home Information Packs available to prospective purchasers on sale of a property.

A Commission spokesman said, "Astonishingly, many people use only one side of the toilet paper. This profligacy leads directly to deforestation in the Amazon" (and other online booksellers, I should think). "If we are serious about wiping away past mistakes, we must start with a clean sheet and regulations should be introduced requiring the use of both sides. Compliance can be monitored by CCTV cameras" (which will, at the current rate of progress shortly cover every square inch of the UK).

 

 

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[matty]

well done Sniffer.

[Woodsyla]

Is that the Daily Hate's effort ?

[Stevie H]

sounds like an ecologically sensible move to me that. more european countries should employ the bumgun that south east asia has, saves a, hah, sh*tload of paper as you just use a few sheets of it to dry yourself having washed your crevice properly.

Edited April 1, 2009 by Stevie H

[Des]

Sniffer

 

Those bonkers Euro bureaucrats will never destroy our Great British dingleberry wipe-off!!

[John am Rhein]

The European Commission has proposed an EU-wide Common European Directive to fix an acceptable figure for the number of sheets to be used in each eco-friendly visit to the toilet! To ensure enforcement, computer chips are suggested to be installed in every loo-roll dispenser. Information on usage will also form an integral part of future home Information Packs available to prospective purchasers on sale of a property.

A Commission spokesman said, "Astonishingly, many people use only one side of the toilet paper. This profligacy leads directly to deforestation in the Amazon" (and other online booksellers, I should think). "If we are serious about wiping away past mistakes, we must start with a clean sheet and regulations should be introduced requiring the use of both sides. Compliance can be monitored by CCTV cameras" (which will, at the current rate of progress shortly cover every square inch of the UK).

 

Fantastic news!!

[ManxRed]

Good advice on the (w)hole!

[DanielS]

What happens if you only have single-sided toilet paper?

[charlie clown]

What happens if you only have single-sided toilet paper?

 

depends on whether it's stapled, black & white or colour.

[Mike]

i think this is a good idea

[ManxRed]

depends on whether it's stapled, black & white or colour.

 

The toilet paper, or your poo?

[Tonto]

The European Commission has proposed

 

So it's not a ruling at all is it?

[Mike]

woosh

[Gerry]

So it's not a ruling at all is it?

 

haha

[Des]

So it's not a ruling at all is it?

 

No it isn't. Correct.

[Noel Street]

sniffer and tonto the lone derangers

[Kvarme Ate My Food]

black & white or colour.

 

you can't say black any more.